Sunday, 28 December 2008


Hi Gruffnuts,

Ok so times are changing,the new year is almost upon us and Crypto is breakin up,its shame as ive earnt a huge salary here,but on the other hand,i am confident i can beat any game any level.

Now,apparently we wont get rakeback on ipoker,well thats fine with me,i can beat the game without it.My only worry is the weaker players might not be able to survive without it,so if the current regs like loser18,razor666,cutefish(poof) bail out,then its all less money for me.

I havent been playin much over the festive period,i been a bit depressed,met a girl on the net,been chattin mths,i sent her the £950 to come over for xmas from Nigeria,and i aint heard a fuckin thing from her since she arrived,she was supposed to be stayin with me til new year.I was in arrivals at airport as arranged and never saw her,she didnt ring/text or mail me,ive checked the flight manifesto and she was def on board..i guess the bitch found some other gruffnut..women eh?I FUCKIN HATE EM!Anyway,i brought home a few hookers last few days to soften the blow and im over her now..and the £950 is fuck all really, 3 days wages maybe at my current level.Im still turnin up at airport check in for her return flite tho,im gonna demand my money back on principal,no one makes a fool of Plat and gets away with it.

Im puttin the prices of my tuition up £5 by the way to £25/hr,im gettin a lot of students so hey,im obviously in demand,so u gonna have to pay for me,

Peace out to all my students,my friends at the tables,and fuck off the rest of you,

Sir Plat

Saturday, 13 December 2008

Away to get drunk

Been grinding £1 stts all fucking day and got no where. 20% fucking rake on thiose thing i think they might be unbeatable as well. FUCKING JOKE


Thursday, 11 December 2008


ok gruffnuts this is plat. u wana know why i'm broke and dont already? log on to my table and ask me. today i plaed 5/10p it was hell. taking a 30p riase serious had bust my balls but hell i need something in my head so i dont go calling 60 pound on a high again. my bankroll can now stand 10/20. by friday i will be back at 25/50 dishing out lessons to the mug punters. nuff respect to all the real players. king plat BACK RULING LOW STAKES POKER

Wednesday, 10 December 2008

£50nl = unbeatable

Hello Gruffnuts,

It's been a while since I made any posts about my poker winnings. This is for a number of resons.

Firstly, I ended up getting caught up in the Crypto Colluding scandal, I had my account suspended for suspicious play. LOL get this they locked my account because I lost a few big pots? WTF? Anyway, I think a few of the colluders were given a 2 week ban and some money was confiscated from them. Send me a message if you wanna know who the colluders were - I don't want to embarrass them on my blog.... but to be honest it's the usual suspects.

The second reason I haven't been writing much about my poker winnings is because... because I haven't won anything. I've analysed my play and looked through all the big hands I have played. I have played perfect poker for 2 months straight and all I have to show for it is a measley £32 profit. I got thinking to myself.... something aint right here.

After discussing this with fellow £50nl grinder Loser18, we both decided that £50 is now impossible to beat because of all the good regs like us.... and the FACT THAT THE RAKE IS £3 EVERY TIME WE SEE A FUCKING TURN CARD. WHAT A FUCKING JOKE WILLIAM HILLS IS.

They charge £3 rake at low steaks like £50nl but only $0.50 at $500nl. I MEAN WTF???


Lucky for me I played so much that I got on average £800 rackback the last 2 months... which keeps the gas fire running.

Anyway gruffnuts... hope you all got your money back from the Crypto Collusion scandal.

This is the Real Plat,
over and out

Thursday, 4 December 2008

Broke Joke Gay Billingham

Gaz Billingham 04 Dec 14:46
Anyone having trouble depositing on Bills?

Tuesday, 2 December 2008

William Hills Broken WTF

WTF is going on??? I wanna play poker is that to much to ask???1 WTF I JUST LOT OVER £600 PLAYING VIDEO POKER FUCKING JOKE I BET ON AA VS 23o AND LOSE £400 VS A STRAIGHT.

Friday, 28 November 2008

Razor666 : No jokers allowed

Hi guys, whats up? I've just been crushing £50nl on crypto. This month I've made almost £21,000 (including rackeback). EASY GAME.

Now onto Razor666, I've been taking shots at £100nl and have stacked him a number of times (when he overplays KK). As a joke I put that video up on my blog. He didn't like it. I thought we were mates or at least MSN buddies until tonight when it all kicked off and he started calling me all the names under the sun. Take a look for yourself:

Platonic: hey lee, how u?
Lee (Razor666): fuckin shit
Lee: running like dog shit
Lee: and keep getting disconected when i have AA
Lee: crypto is fuckin joke
Lee: you not been disconnected constantly?
Platonic: no its been fine for me mate
Lee: ive written to them demanding my money back
Lee: what a fuckin joke of a shite
Platonic: you lost a lot of money?
Platonic: lol i stacked you a few times!
Lee: ye im stcuk 6000 the last 2 months
Lee: fuckin rigged software
Platonic: nah mate dont be silly
Lee: fk u
Lee: your a retarded 20nl player
Lee: i dont even wanna speak to u u spastic
Lee: who gave you my email anyway?
Lee: ive had enough of you
Lee: i hope you lose your bankroll and go back to pickin up dog shit
Platonic: i play £50nl infact
Lee: your so bad at poker
Lee: and your blog is a load of shite
Lee: who the fuck do you think you are?
Lee: fuckin twat
Platonic: i thought we were mates?
Lee: not any more, f u

Wednesday, 19 November 2008

BNP Memebers list - I'M NOT SCARED

As some of you who like to keep up with current affairs will have noticed - some fucking sad gruffnut has leaked the list containing all names and addresses of members of the party.

As a BNP supporter of course my name is on that list. I've already had some dodgy phone call from some nig nogs threatening to set my house on fire!

HA HA HA! The joke is on them because I moved out of my parents house over 6 months ago.

So good luck in "coming to get me" there!!! LOL fucking black clowns. It's a fucking disgrace that they come to this county just to try and set the good peoples houses on fire. What a fucking joke.

I think this news story will only increase the BNP's popularity and I think we have a real chance of getting into power at the next election. If all us good guys pull together I'm sure we can free this country of all the skum.

On the poker front - I'm down £600 this week so far WHICH IS A FUCKING JOKE. I think Will Hill may now be rigged as they got nothing to lose cos they changing sites in a few months. WHAT A FUCKKIN JOKE.

I'm seething.

Better go,

The Real Plato a.k.a. the king of crypto - Platonic_

Tuesday, 18 November 2008

Keeping fit and keeping the jacuzzi clean

Ok,i apologise for not posting for a while,but had a lot on my mind,IM ABSOLUTELY FUCKIN FURIOUS RIGHT NOW!!

Before and after a poker grind i tend to have a stroll around the local park,kinda relax and look for some loose women tryin to get fit,a few cheesy comments and they are like a 0898rentawhore,but decided i needed somethin new as i think some of the park regulars think i'm a bit of a weirdo strollin around approachin women all the time.

So,i decide a proper workout is perhaps the best idea and i join a pretty exclusive local gym,i been goin a few days pumpin the iron,swimmin etc and basically having a good time,when all hell lets loose!Im sat there in the jacuzzi discreety staring at the tits of the Italian lookin bird opposite me,when all of a sudden my attention is drawn to someone walkin over to the jacuzzi..ITS A FUCKIN INDIAN!!even worse than that the fucking smelly bastard gets in..WTF?WTF?..i got straight out,went and pumped iron in a mass rage whilst thinkin about what to do...

should i go warn him to leave?do i complain to the management?do i kick fuck outa him?do i kick fuck outa the manager?...all these thoughts are flashin through my head then i decide to take a non violent discreet approach,i get a form for the suggestion box,fill it in with my complaint and post it anonymously.As u all know,im no racist,but i dont wanna be payin good money to be hangin around with fuckin Indians,blacks etc,i dont think thats too much to ask is it?

Surely there should at least be certain hours when these people are allowed in(if they have to be allowed in),then all the water can be changed and the place cleaned etc for when us normal folk are in.Well theyve been warned,ill give it a week or 2 before i go again,and hopefully theyll have sorted out this problem and the good folk can use the facilities safely.

Re: poker,i can safely say im now the best player at £50nl,see u soon Clownia ,Razor etc,im on £100 next month


Peace out all plat fans,fuck off gruffnuts,


Wednesday, 12 November 2008

Christmas shopping

I decided to do my Christmas shopping early this year because of the problems I had when it came to Christmas last year. Some of you will be familiar with the story and to be honest thats in the past now and I'm pretty embarassed about it. Basically around December 10th I went on a really bad run poker wise and didn't have much money to buy my freind and family xmas presents.

So this year I went out and got them all some cool shit to make up for last year. The problem is that I had to withdraw from my poker bankroll to do this, so I will be back at 10p/20p for a while longer.

anyway I'm sure my family will all be thankful to Balti, Gede, 4King etc on xmas day when they open up their presents - YOU FISH PAID FOR THEM ALL!!! HA, HA, HA.

This is the REAL PLAT, for

Fuck the Gruffnuts

Sunday, 9 November 2008

Let me give you boys a poker lesson

Ok,so im now CRUSHING 25p/50p and am moviing up to 50p/£1 next month i see balti has moved up and hope he will stay there, then £1/2 by january.

In addition to my huge poker salary,my poker teachin classes are really taking off now,ive been watchin and advising people over msn(£15/hr),and also started having people comin round to my place and givin them 4 hour lessons for £50(had to turn one gruffnut away as he failed to inform me he was African American,so please take note,I WILL NOT TEACH ETHNIC MINORTIES OR DISABLED PEOPLE),ive also allowed a few people for a reduced fee simply come round and watch me play which has also been very lucrative,its all extra cash and its all TAX FREE!None of my income is goin to the fuckin government i taxes just to give Mr.Patel his fuckin dole money.

Anyone interested in my classes,or indeed if you just wanna pay to meet me(many have!),then come find me at the tables,though ill be puttin full contact and payment details on my new site im workin on very soon,

All the best to my fans and fuck off everyone else,

Platonic_(Best player on Crypto)

Monday, 3 November 2008

Friday, 31 October 2008


Ok,so im sure you all heard about my fall on 25/50p.,its true,yes i did lose around £1k in the first week,but dont worry cause i realised there was a certain strategy or two i wasnt employing for the change in stakes,i now realise what it is after takin some time playin both 10p/20p and 25p/50p and am now back multi-tabling 25p/50p and mean serious business now,playin close to 100% perfect.I firmly believe the regulars too are giving me much more respect now.I will MURDER this level in no time and am still on for £1/£2 by Jan,maybe Feb at the latest.I'm being very selective of which tables i choose and see Gede and Balti as the easiest players to extract money from,but im not gonna divulge how i'm doin it,these gruffnuts are just way too much ABC and dunno how to adjust to a player of my skills and trickiness.

This will be a major story soon,up there with Loser18's biggest falls(only mine is goin in the other direction),i was down to £13.45 at one point,that will be the turnin point when i write my biography from my swimmin pool overlookin the hills in some exotic location,with tonnes of hookers around me catering to my every need.How will you feel Loser18 and Guilkines knowin that you have paid for that lifestyle,while your strugglin to buy a loaf of bread?

Thank God for online poker,i was headin for a life of crime and jail etc,not really seein my purpose in life,then along it came,my escape and rags to riches story.A story which starts now,cos i been messin around atr gruffnut stakes for too long,im destined for far bigger and better.

To all you Gruffnuts who want me heads up,just be patient,i wanna reach £1/£2 then ill take anyone on at that stake..Feb at latest.

Sorry if i dissapointed my loyal fans with my recent demise but hey,every success is never without its minor hiccups,and im back stronger than ever now,

Fuck off to the gruffnuts,foreigners and losers,

Your Hero,


Tuesday, 28 October 2008


3 posts in 10 minutes, No i havent lost my mind, My name is just Gay Bilingham MWHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

seriously? who reads his blog apart from loyal plat fans who laugh.


thats right you bunch of gruffnuts look what i just bought with Baltis money!!!

Platonics Lingo

1. Gruffnut 22 up, 4 down
The clotting of anal hair due to the application of excrement.
Oooooo I don't think I wiped properly I've got gruffnuts hangin out of my posterior
by Dave T Oct 26, 2003 share this add comment

2. gruffnut 7 up, 2 down
noun; a piece (or pieces) of faeces stuck in the hair around your anus
"mate, i found the biggest gruffnut last nite"
shit poo bum anus poo hair
by james-is-sexy Jan 19, 2006 share this add comment

3. Gruffnut 8 up, 5 down
the pooey mess left behind in the anal hair if an anus is not wiped with enough care is called gruffnut.
Glen recieved lots of gruffnut when he went for a poo and didnt wipe afterwards. This caused a discusting mess to be left in his anal hair over the anal region and his undergarments.

Wednesday, 22 October 2008

Classic Plat

Here is a my classic guide to the 3/4ths but in law. This is for all the new loyal Plat fans who may have missed this post, it's also updated for my new steaks of 25p/50p.

Platonics poker guide: 1. The 3/4ths Buy In Law

Quite a few poker books I have read recently have helped my game a lit, but there are some big holes in them and they have not been updated for the 21st centuary - I news for you Slansky and co. - POKER HAS CHANGED SINCE YOUR DAY..... and ONLINE POKER IS A DIFFERENT GAME ALTOGETHER.

Some of you gruffnuts have been pestering me about my £35 to £38 buy in tactic. I've had some reservations about revealing why I do this as this law of poker will change the face of the internet games forever... but here goes.

I've decided to call this law the PLAT-Stack law of poker.

Advantages of "The PLAT-stack":

- When I get a bad beat or a "cooler" situation (like top pair vs top pair (better kicker)) I only lose 3/4ths of my stack. This is an obvious advantage as it means I lose less money.

- It allows me to double up a lot easier.

- The element of surprise. These fish don't notice that one minute I sit with £35 then 2 secs later I have well over £50.

- It lets me play my draws and pairs.

- It makes me unique (although I have recently seen some dudes trying to copy me; e.g. SEXPEST, TEEGA and 4KINGI)

- When I get over £62 I get up instantly and leave. This allows me to never lose any big pots.

- It allows me to play for bigger steaks with less of a bankroll - this was a major factor in my quick rise through the stakes on crypto towards my current status of OWNING £50NL. It is no longer a problem as my bankroll is massive. I could easily move upto 50NL and crush but I'm not sure of the optimal amount to buy in for (anyone who knows gimmie a shout in the comments).

Thats about it. I know a lot of people have been waiting for this info - feel free to share it with your close friends and family.

Beware someone is posting a fake Plato blog... what a loser... I recon it's Loser18 trying to get back at me for stacking him twice. WHAT A GRUFFNUT. My next blog will concentrate on the 2nd LAW of online poker - how to use your position to your advantage.

Remember dudes it's only a game so put up a real good fight. We're gonna be "pokering" you tonight. The one and only, undisputed top dog of cryto, best poker instructer in the UK, PLATONIC_ (your king, their god)

Thank me later....

Sunday, 19 October 2008

Shite day

ok guys I've gotta tell you all that I am SEETHING.

Life has been really good to me recently and I know that I am a very lucky man (apart from at poker). I have been winning LOADS OF MONEY at 25p/50p over the last week and a bit.

Then the day from hell happens.
Friday night I went round my mates house and we grinded the tables from around 6pm to 10am the following morning. I won £200 in this time. Saturday Morning Kitchen came on and we decided to call it a night. I love that show. I'd just won £200 and I was watching Saturday Morning Kitchen on a 42" PLASMA TV with a good friend of mine. LIFE COULDN'T GET ANY BETTER...


I left my mates house after Saturday Morning Kitchen and went to the local tesco metro to buy some energy juice as I had no sleep in 36 hours. I was looking in the fridges for my fave 6 cans of Red Bull.... I asked the young asian chap who worked there where the Red Bull was... he said they didn't have any in. I WAS FUMING. Who the fuck did this guy think he was to talk to me like that??? I ASKED HIM IF THEY HAD ANY BANNANAS AND HE SAID "YES OVER THERE", I GAVE HIM A SLAP AND LEFT IT AT THAT. FUCKING RETARD.

So, I had to settle for Relentless (shit, has anyone tried it before?). Then to my disgust.... when I get to the till... who geets me other than a dirty POLISH CUNT-BAG SLUT. I told her to shave her moustache a left it at that.

So by this time I'm pretty tilted so I jump in my car and drive home to grab my ticket and head off up north to the match. I'm on my way to the game and my car starts making strange noises... nothing new there I think to myself. Then.... BOOOOM. Something explodes out of no where. The engine stops so I pull over to the side of the motorway. I phone up the AA because I dont have a clue about cars and the indian fuckwhit on the other end of the phone tells me it will take between 2 and 3 hours for a mechanic to come look at my car. WHAT A FUCKING JOKE. To cut a long story short this country is going to shit because of all these fucking foreigners coming in and taking all of our jobs.... then doing a totally shit job. WHEN THE MECHANIC FINALLY GOT THERE AND I SAW THAT HE WAS BLACK..... I TOLD HIM TO FUCK OFF AND GOT A TAXI TO MIDDLESBROUGH AND SAW THE LAST 4 MINUTES OF THE GAME. I MISSED ALL THE GOALS FFS.


what a fucking joke

i was so tilted i didnt play yesterday (first day off in 3 years)



Wednesday, 15 October 2008

Gay Billingham

I've had enough of this moaning useless drop out prick. It has come to my attention that GAY BILLINGHAM has been talking shit about me on internet messageboards and other blogs. WHO THE FUCK DOES HE THINK HE IS???

I've created a short film to show what I am going to do to him when I find out where he lives. All I can say is that I will be putting the Thai Boxing I've been going to recently to good use.


<a href="">Grapheine : Agence communication Paris communication agency French illustrator création d'affiche</a><noembed> </object>

25p/50p, and Loyal Plat Fans

Yesterday I made my debut at the 25p/50p tables. I was greeted with a warm welcome from the likes of 4_King_I, Balti, Gambleag and the Gede... they are all loyal Plat fans and were pleased to see the great one move up.

I took £30 off Balti when it hit a stright vs his flopped set (he bet flop then check called 2 small bets). Then Gede made a horrible play on another table when he shoved in pre flop with AK... I SNAP-CALLED with QQ and took down a huge £85 pot. On the other table I got a bad beat when my AQ lost all in against a short stack with 44.... Flop 3AQ... turn 8... river 4. I took it in my stride and used the breathing techniques that I was taught at Thai Boxing.

I also played some £5 6 seater Sit n Goes... I got an amazing record at these... Check it out

Anyway I've added a few new things to my blog... all you loyal Plat fans can show your support by becoming an offical "follower".

I'm away to start grinding now. GL me. Going out with Cute_fish to the pictures tonight, should be fun! ;)

Laters Guys

Monday, 13 October 2008

The New Plat

Hey guys,

I've turned the corner in my life.

I have finally reached inner peace with myself.

Bad beats will no longer send me mental (see previous post).

I've started eating a proper balanced diet (no more pot noodles... apart from at the weekend). AND TO BE HONEST MY RECENT RESULTS HAVE IMPROVED SO MUCH. I'm moving upto £50nl next week. I've started working out and have been going the gym twice a day and also going to Thai Kickboxing classes.

I actually met a fellow poker player at the Kickboxing.... lol.... he was there wearing a Pokerstars T-shirt so I knew we would hit it off straight away. We got talking and he plays on the same site as me.... infact sometimes I have watched him play (I really respect his game). We went out after kickboxing on Friday looking for chicks in town (unfortunately no joy) then went home and I watched him playing £200nl. HE WAS CRUSHING.

One thing that struck me was how tight he was.... it was strange... he was only playing like 15% of hands but everyone still payed him off. I was like "WTF". I wasnt the only one who thought this it appears as some dude at the table was calling him a "NIT"??? I dnno what this means but I asked Matthew and he was like "it dosent matter.. that moron dosent know what he's doing".... I was like "WTF?? OK?"... we played side by side till 7am in the morning then he let me share his bed. What a nice chap! To anyone who plays on crypto and was wondering who it was.... the dudes name is Cute_fish. He's a really nice guy and we are going to the pics on Wed night.

To all those saying I "faked" my PT screen shot.... think again you fucking clowns.

I also saw that fat fuck AMAGAY on TV the other night.... what an embarrassment to all poker players he is. A GRADE-A FUCKING GRUFFNUT. That should have been me on the TV.... at least I play real poker unlike that tourney donk luckbox. FUCKING JOKE.

So far this month I have made £721.23 from 10p 20p.



Thursday, 9 October 2008

up £90 30 mins late im stuck £180 WTF

Here is a pic of my PC monitor i destroyed. Im fed up of the bad beats ive been gettin on hills, people speak about bad beats alot to me, but lately ive had so many that is is UNREAL. It got the point where i was literally sick out of my caravan window. I just dont know wht to do this shit has been goin on for over a year now. God bless rake back.

Ill post hh at a later date but i currently just feel to sick to look through them.

Tuesday, 7 October 2008

to all my doubters

this is my pt2 stats for this month. Ive been putting in a sick amount of hands so far. Think Ill wait till next month to move up to 25p50p tho

Saturday, 4 October 2008

i slipped up

As you loyal plat fans will well know by now, i do not normally drink alcohol. My dad was an alcoholic and i swear to myself never to be like him. when i drink alcohol i go mental. So today i am very disapointed with myself, as i also took alot of class A drugs.
I wasnt even wanting to drink but i got the worse bad beat of all time. I smashed my PC screen to bits and i needed some relief. IK flicked through the gig guide and saw the venga boys(my favourite band of my youth) were playing at a local venue so i decided to go down and get smashed.
It was a good night but i ended up getting thrown out for dancing stripping untill i was stark bollok naked. When i got outside i ended up taking on TWO doormen. They thhought i was just another fool but little they knew i was a karate expert and i ended up kicking both there heads in before making a timely exit before the police got there,

On the poker front i dont think i am going to be moving up this month due to the fact i broke my PC screen, so i will need to replace that and that is a succnificant chunck of my bank roll.

Friday, 3 October 2008



Tuesday, 30 September 2008

time to start making some SERIOUS cash


This is my final day on 10p/20p,tomorow i start 25p/50p.,although im actually considering missin that level out and headin straight to 50p/£1 to rip Razor666 apart,i know i have the beatin of him by a long way,

Peace out to all you Plat fans and a huge fuck off to the losers,the disabled and all u foreign fucks who mean i cant get a job in my own country,but nevermind cos my poker earnings gonna escalate like mad now,

Platonic(King of Hold Em)

Wednesday, 17 September 2008

Poker Experiment Results


So after over a week of me playing on my chum Mzosas account and him playing on my account some interesting results have been found.

It turns out that over the last 9 to 10 days both of our accounts were rigged against us. We therefor conclude that the only wasy to win whilst playing poker (£20nl cash tables) is to get a good rakeback/bonus deal. Luckily for us both of us have good rakeback and the usual will hill bonus so we can keep playing for a living even through these though times of the credit crunch.

It was interesting to see that the broke joke that is Claudia27 was back down playing the £20nl tables today after she attempted to move up firstly to £50nl then £100.... lol she got completly crushed by razor666.... I really respect his game. JPG is still stuck down at £20nl playing against morons like me and houchen1. 15ti100 is getting crushed at $500nl by comonaces and that nut jog THE2JETS. All I know is that I'm a far better player than them and when hills de-rigg my account (will be happening soon cos i emailed asking them) I will be moving up to £50 then £100 then £200 in a matter of weeks.

If anyone has any doubts about my ablitity ask Loser18 as he got owned by myself of several occasions when he bust his roll and had to come play £20nl with me.

It's just a matter of time before I am raking in the money,

This is the real plat signing off,

All you gruffnuts out there go fuck yourselfs,

Especially all you tourney donks like THE2?JETS, AMATY and all you other muppets...

The man..... YOUR GOD....


Thursday, 11 September 2008

poker experiment

hey gruffnuts, i've been getting raped at the tables recently and ive been doing a lot of thinking.

what if 2 good players (friends) with different styles, one being in a downswing, an the other being on a heater, switch playing accounts. would this prove that maybe variance and bad play affects?

saying the player on a heater would experience the downswing the other player has, or not?

i have decided to switch accounts with mzosa for a week and see what happens. i think my account might be rigged for a while but he tells me im being stupid.

time will tell and i will report back next week after the experiment.

bye fish

Saturday, 6 September 2008

the time has come

Hello to my ever expanding fanbase and a warm welcome to the gruffnuts and losers too.Well the time has come,I AM MOVING UP TO 25P 50P NEXT MONTH.To be honest im gettin bored of the EASY money from gruffnuts like Jenka and Rryan1970,those losers can fight those losers stakes out between themselves now,the skys the limit for your hero Plat now and the regular gruffnuts at 25p 50p who have doubted my ability as a very serious player are in for serious trouble.I wil absolutely race through the £50 tables with a stack of £25 each table ,so idiots like Razor666,Claudia and Loser18 best start lookin over their shoulders cos PLAT MEANS BUSINESS and i will be on their £100 tables by Xmas at the latest.Ive played you all before and you know how good i am,you just take the piss outa jealousy and your own insecurities but deep down u know i will murder you.

Loser18 your headin for a huge fall.But just for now its Balti,Gamlbeag who have the most to fear,those gruffnuts and the other regs there are my bankroll for the next stage.Cant wait for razor666's money,the more tables he plays the richer i get,hes useless,ive nothin to fear at any level.

10p/20p is just so dull now,not even a challenge anymore,my win rate is probably about double the next best players rate.My professional pride wont allow me play here any longer.

Still ive made an incredible livin mainly off Jenka and Ryan1970,how on earth those jobless Manc and Scouse gruffnuts can still afford to play is beyond me.

Watch this space,your hero is coming of age.

Monday, 1 September 2008

Paintballs Coming Home

I think some of you gruffnuts should watch this video -

It's by a band named Half Man Half Biscuits and they have developed a cult following amounst all the £20NL regs on crypto. Every time I get a bad beat I listen to one of their songs and it always puts a smile on my face. Just giving something back, hope you all enjoy it.

Love you lots,

Platonic_ (a bit stoned)

Wednesday, 27 August 2008


Ok, i went along to a 5 aside football game. I play for this team now and again, sometimes i get invited when there short on players. So i start playin and some guy goin by the name of "jones" is being a right lazy cunt. So i tell him to get his act together before i slap him about. Then he give me this back chat. I really shouldnt say what happened next but I feel ive got to. So after the game this Jones cunt starts telling me i need to relax. WTF WTF WTF does he not realise this is a COMPETITIVE sport. a MANS game. So i loose it, I punch him in the jaw, then he falls over, I then kick him in the balls. THEN this is the BEST part, he started crying, tears actually rolled down his cheak. I mean what a fukin pussy.

Ive been totally crushing the 10p20p tbls lately. I won £230.45 so far since monday. And thats not including rake back. However. It has come to my attention an annoying scouse twat who is at alot of my tbls called ryan. Ive already explained to him tht i will take him on one on one at any stake any time. But whenever i offer him this he suddenly goes quiet and dissapears from my tables LOL. ANYTIME RYAN FOR THE 1000000000th TIME. ILL OWN YOU I LIKE I USED TO OWN SALTY ACE I OWNED HIM SO BAD HE LOST EVERYTHING NOW HES DISSAPEARED. OOPS.

Monday, 25 August 2008

crushing the casino

Hello loyal plat fans. Just like to inform you of my recent success at the casino. I was playing my usual £1 £2 stakes when a grufnut started mouthing of at me after i got "lucky", he didnt agree with my usual over shove flush draw. when he called and had a higher flush draw. but he didnt get i still had loads of outs for pairs. i hit a pair of 4's. he wasnt happy.

Anyway I went out to smoke a spliff and thought over the situation. I decided to challege him to £5£10 hu game. He accepted and I went on to OWN HIS ASS. I bluffed him so many times then i played a £2 thousand pound pot and won when my AK defeated his QQ all in pre flop. I then thanked him for the game. cashed out, and got the hell outta there. He said this was bad etiqutte but he can fuk of, i beat him fair and square so fuk you you cunt


Thursday, 21 August 2008

Platonic_ thoughts

Over the past weeks my attitude towards life has changed. I no longer feel like i want people to think of me as the best 20nl reg. I dont care, I already know that I am. My records show this. However Ive started thinking about what I want from life, and to be honest I just dont know. I feel like there is a big grey fuckin cloud hanging over me at all times. I meen just how many times can AA loose in a day? I know I have my head screwed on so whatever I do it will be best for me. Get a job? sure I'd do less hours but i wouldnt be garunteed my £1.5k per month tax free. I know i would exell in the political field but who knows we will see.

Yes I know, I have more exiting storys to tell than the average person. Ive found myself in some crazy situations in my life. At times gambled and won, stupid amounts of money. But is it time to settle down? find a job? a wife? I will move up to 25p50p soon but i feel no rush to as my ego big so im happy to take mszoza98 money at 10p20p for a while more.

Ps. Drogba is a ******** cunt. i need to spell it like ******** as i dont want to be wrongly accused of rascism again. But ffs he calls himself a chelsea player he's not fit to lick dennis wise's boats the ugly ******** fuck. When will he realise people like him are not welcome at chelsea FUCK OF YOU PIECE OF SHIT.

Thursday, 14 August 2008

Killing time at the casino

I was killing time the other day playing £1/£2 NLHE at the casino when I got involved in an all-in pot with a player to my right. It was high drama for the boring live £1/£2 game since the pot was about £180. As the river card lands the player hits a set of 8's while I hit a Q high straight and as he gets all worked up and angry with me, for some reason I lifted my right arse cheek and farted on him while saying nice hand. I got so caught up in the momnet in just kind of happned, like I farted on que. The whole table looked at me like I was nuts and I felt so odd I get up and followed the guy who I farted on.

Monday, 11 August 2008


I had some boiled ham. It had a fishy taste to it.

Monday, 4 August 2008

Gay Billingham

Hahaha so that hand I posted earlier wasnt actually mine it was the one and only GAY BLIMMINGHAMS. I fooled you all.... but I just had to point out how much of a moron this guy is.

He was so proud of this achievement of "winning" such a big pot that he decided to poast about it on the Betfairs forum. LOLLOL.

Tonight I spotted him at a 15p/25p omahaha table - I THINK IT IS SAFE TO ASSUME THAT HE BUST HIS ROLL.

I was notified that this fish was playing by some of my fellow 10p 20p NO LIMIT HOLDEM (the real mans game) players. 4 or 5 of them all flocked to the table when they saw that he was playing. I was tempted to join myself but was already playing the max amount of tables that can fit onto my 4 monitors so I just sent a few insults his way, hopefully the prick recieved them. It was amazing to see all the Plat haters getting together and realising how much of a wanker that GAY BILLINGHAM is and clubbing together in an effort to bust the broke joke.

I have heard that GAY even had a smaller roll than 15ti100... ahaha how embarrassing! What a complete and utter fish.

Biggest Pot of my life

Was playing on Betfair at the time

Game #6320423313: Omaha PL ($2.50/$5) - 2008/08/03 - 03:31:39 (UK)
Table "Hotakadake" Seat 1 is the button.
Seat 1: GodlkeRoy ($87.40 in chips)
Seat 2: Gazovcas ($708.61 in chips)
Seat 3: axemaztah ($1346.89 in chips)
Seat 5: ^kira^ ($198.97 in chips)
Seat 6: Minime1 ($1103.35 in chips)
Gazovcas: posts small blind $2.50
axemaztah: posts big blind $5
----- HOLE CARDS -----
dealt to Gazovcas [Jc As 7d Ks]
^kira^: folds
Minime1: raises to $15
GodlkeRoy: folds
Gazovcas: calls $12.50
axemaztah: raises to $30
Minime1: calls $15
Gazovcas: calls $15
----- FLOP ----- [Kh 2d Ac]
Gazovcas: bets $60
axemaztah: calls $60
Minime1: folds
----- TURN ----- [Kh 2d Ac][Ah]
Gazovcas: checks
axemaztah: bets $60
Gazovcas: raises to $130
axemaztah: raises to $225
Gazovcas: raises to $618.61 and is all-in
axemaztah: calls $393.61
----- RIVER ----- [Kh 2d Ac Ah][9h]
----- SHOW DOWN -----
Gazovcas: shows [Jc As 7d Ks] (A Full House, Aces full of Kings)
axemaztah: shows [Tc Js Ad Kc] (A Full House, Aces full of Kings)
Gazovcas collected $722.11 from Main pot
axemaztah collected $722.11 from Main pot
----- SUMMARY -----
Total pot $1447.22 Main pot $1444.22 Rake $3
Board [Kh 2d Ac Ah 9h]
Seat 1: GodlkeRoy (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 2: Gazovcas (small blind) showed [Jc As 7d Ks] and won ($722.11) with A Full House, Aces full of Kings
Seat 3: axemaztah (big blind) showed [Tc Js Ad Kc] and won ($722.11) with A Full House, Aces full of Kings
Seat 5: ^kira^ folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 6: Minime1 folded on the Flop

Tuesday, 29 July 2008

Bad night at the tables

Moved back up to my usual £20nl and ran the worst anyone in history has ever ran.

JJ vs 1010 SPLIT POT
444 vs straight LOSE


Now I'm wondering if I will regret turning pro??

Only time will tell.

Saturday, 26 July 2008


I've been reading a few comments and it seems that some of you gruffnuts are accusing me of racism. This is simply not true. I have lots of black friends... one of which is "Eatmynuts". I also know lots of other black peeps who are prutty cool (I have discoved tho black people are very bad at poker - they always seem to play spades to try to hit flushes... i dunno why) (also some of them smell prutty bad at times).


On the poker front I dropped down to 5p 10p and have so far made 34 buy ins today.

Tuesday, 22 July 2008

Gruffnuts talking behind my back, "The Black Club" and profit for the year so far,

so have been informed that some group of CUNTS on some poker fourm web-site have been taking the piss out of me and my blog. Laughing at the stakes I play etc etc...

well I have one thing to say to you GRUFFNUTS :

I know this may be a strange concept from you but I'd rather make about £1000 a month at £20nl than lose £1000 at £500nl or £200nl in a few days. I mean wtf. I could live off rakeback alone at £20nl so SHUT THE FUCK UP ALL YOU FISH.

on another note...

I have been specially selected to join the "WILLIAM HILL BLACK CLUB". WTF WTF? I'm not even black??? They have gotta be taking the piss. Even if this club is for both blacks and normal people what the fuck is the name all about??? It's political correctness gone mad! What a fucking joke. If it was called "The White Club" there would be outrage and all the pakis and nigs would go off their tits and probs blow themselfs up at Will Hill HQ or summat.

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS GONE MAD. I can't even find a job (not that I need it with my poker winnings) in my own country because of all these fuckers. No wonder the BNP is on the up at the mo. The country is a fucking joke. The men and women of the British National Party are motivated by love and admiration of the outpouring of culture, art, literature and the pattern of living through the ages that has left its mark on our very landscape. We value the folkways and customs which have been passed down through countless generations. We enthuse with pride at the marvels of architecture and engineering that have been completed on these islands since the construction of the great megaliths 7,000 years ago.

So... onto my profits so far this year. (All at £20nl/£25nl and some £500nl HU cash thrown in)

January = £1388
Febuary = £1445
March = £1502
April = £45.23
May = £1520
June = £1666
July (so far) = £1810

YES. Thats right so far this month I have made £1810 and that not even including this weeks rake back! So wtf have you haters gotta say now?
Yeah that right... just what I thought... NOTHING.



Monday, 7 July 2008



Sunday, 6 July 2008

£253.21 up this weekend..... get shut the fuck up you anonymous cunts!

Tuesday, 1 July 2008

Platonic_'s guide to check raising

Hello Plat fans (I'm going to ignore the gruffnuts from now on),

This is a quick post about how and when you should go for the check raise. This is gold dust. This will help you all with your games and deciding when to check raise!

The best time to checkraise is when you have a flush draw to disguise your hand and totally fuck with your opponents minds. This also works with any other type of draw including double ended straights and sometimes with the middle pin straight draw.

Another great time to go for the check raise is when you have a pocket pair. Like when the flop is 23J and you hold TT... this is an ideal time to check/raise... you gotta mix it up. 77 on a 993 board... GO ON CHECK MOTHER FUCKING RAISE.

You will have a disguised hand that they will never be able to put you on. Even if they do call you should still bet about one tenth of the pot on the turn... often these clowns will either fold to your turn bet with top pair or sometimes go all in and you can safely fold knowing you played the hand perfectly and lost the minimum when you were obv beat.

There are players at the £20NL tables who think they deserve to win every pot... you have to fight back against these gruffnuts! They bet with shit all the time. Every fucking flop all they do is bet. THIS IS WHY THE CHECK RAISE IS SUCH A PROFITABLE MOVE. I mean it has made me £1000's over the last few months alone. I am such a creative player... I really should move up to 25p/50p some times very soon... or maybe just 15p/25p.

Wednesday, 25 June 2008



Following my last post i recieved some critisizem. But some people private messaged me saying "thanks for the tips Plat" and "we'd love to learn more Plat". So for those followers I shall unleash my positional strategy.

LAW 1. if you are able to limp your sb DO IT FFS. I mean its only 10p more and you will be the 1st to fire out.

LAW 2. play multi way pots from the sb as it allows you to check raise

LAW 3. if its been folded to the dealers button open limp hands from 22-qq 34-79-qj ect

LAW 4. dont let the sb push you about, just because he is the 1st firing out it doesnt meen he has the hand every time.

now to deal with some of my gruffnut critics.

__sp__; WTF WTF WTF, i mean he claims not to have used my strategy but when i was table spying for 2 hours i saw him putting the PLAT STACK into action with more success than usual. the fucking station.

mszoza; you are the biggest grufnut of the lot!!! you fucking spoon! yeh king 3 is a great hand ill call platonic_ all in who has an obv 2 pair

Sunday, 22 June 2008

Platonics poker guide: 1. The 3/4ths Buy In Law

Quite a few poker books I have read recently have helped my game a lit, but there are some big holes in them and they have not been updated for the 21st centuary - I news for you Slansky and co. - POKER HAS CHANGED SINCE YOUR DAY..... and ONLINE POKER IS A DIFFERENT GAME ALTOGETHER.

Some of you gruffnuts have been pestering me about my £14 to £15 buy in tactic. I've had some reservations about revealing why I do this as this law of poker will change the face of the internet games forever... but here goes.

I've decided to call this law the PLAT-Stack law of poker.

Advantages of "The PLAT-stack":

- When I get a bad beat or a "cooler" situation (like top pair vs top pair (better kicker)) I only lose 3/4ths of my stack. This is an obvious advantage as it means I lose less money.

- It allows me to double up a lot easier.

- The element of surprise. These fish don't notice that one minute I sit with £14 then 2 secs later I have well over £20.

- It lets me play my draws and pairs.

- It makes me unique (although I have recently seen some dudes trying to copy me; e.g. Godlin, Strutty and __sp__)

- When I get over £28 I get up instantly and leave. This allows me to never lose any big pots.

- It allows me to play for bigger steaks with less of a bankroll - this was a major factor in my quick rise through the stakes on crypto towards my current status of OWNING £20NL. It is no longer a problem as my bankroll is massive. I could easily move upto 50NL and crush but I'm not sure of the optimal amount to buy in for (anyone who knows gimmie a shout in the comments).

Thats about it. I know a lot of people have been waiting for this info - feel free to share it with your close friends and family.

Beware someone is posting a fake Plato blog... what a loser... I recon it's Loser18 trying to get back at me for stacking him twice. WHAT A GRUFFNUT. My next blog will concentrate on the 2nd LAW of online poker - how to use your position to your advantage.

Remember dudes it's only a game so put up a real good fight. We're gonna be "pokering" you tonight. The one and only, undisputed top dog of cryto, best poker instructer in the UK, PLATONIC_ (your king, their god)

Thank me later....

Thursday, 19 June 2008

Buying in for 3/4ths of the max buy in.

Hello Plat fans. Long time no post. I've been busy crushing the 20NL tables as usual and have also went on quite a few one day fishing trips with my dad. I totally owned him and caught way more fish and more to the point bigger fish. One fish I caught was fucking huge. My dad was pretty pissed off because he taught me how to fish in the first place.

Anyway, I've had a number of comments and eMails asking to to explain my short stack strategy. I've been working on a post like this for a long time as I think it will change the face of NL poker.

I'm still putting it together but I just thought I'd let you know that it is coming soon, as some of you fish seem to be getting restless. Don't worry - I will share with you my great insight in to NL game very soon.

For now I will leave you with a picture of the fish i caught on Monday.

Sunday, 15 June 2008

gay bilingham


Ok, i know Ive had my critics, but this bilingham twat takes the cheesy biscuit. I meen wtf wtf wtf. I dont know what the fuck he does but i know one thing, he is obsessed with my poker skillz. Only 2 days ago he admitted watching me for 2 hours to try and learn a thing or two about the game i CRUSH. He said 2 hours but i reccon it was alot longer.

He idolisises losing players. ie, AMAGAY , BLUESCOUSE

He slams winning players. ie, Platonic_

I meen wtf wtf wtf with a name like gay bilingham your just born to be a twat. You can threaten me all you want but at the end of the day we will probably never meet and what you dont know is i am a black belt in Karate. A fact few people know about as i dont like to boost as I pride my character on being a Modest Honest chap.

Now ive dealt with that piece of shit.

Id like to announce, Im considering moving up. I meen Ive outgrown 10p20p and beating that game every night is just boring now. I dunno if i should go to 15p25p or just dive in a the deep end at 25p50p.

also alot of the fish have left the 10p 20p tables, ie, fudsalad, _jeny_, shitfields, Jpoofg, 15ti10

Thursday, 12 June 2008

New account

I'm thinking of getting a new account with a different username because of all the abuse and threats I'm getting at the tables.

also i think my Platonic_ account my be rigged as so far this month i have only had 2 winning days. i not gonna lie times are very though at the moment.... im considering selling the caravan. any offers?

Sunday, 8 June 2008

Phew, tilted a bit but won it all back and more!

Yo Plat fans and retarded fuckwhits (I can tell there are a few now reading my blog),

What a rollercoster it has been tonight for the Platmeister! The final straw was when I found myself sitting at at £2/5NL table! WFT WFT WFF.

Firstly this hand PEEED me off big time:

----- HOLE CARDS -----
dealt to Platonic_ [
Ah Kh]
Adamc2502: calls £0.20
boydy07: folds
Gar071033: folds
artboruc: folds
Platonic_: raises to £0.60
Adamc2502: calls £0.40

----- FLOP ----- [9s 4h 8d]
Platonic_: bets £1 ------> standard steel bet
Adamc2502: calls £1

----- TURN ----- [9s 4h 8d][Ks]
Platonic_: checks-----> hit my bingo card so I decided to check - raise!
Adamc2502: bets £1
Platonic_: raises to £3
Adamc2502: raises to £12.07 and is all-in wft wft wft wff
Platonic_: is all-in £8.28 - gotta call i got top pair!! wooooooooooooo
Returned uncalled bets £0.79 to Adamc2502

----- RIVER ----- [9s 4h 8d Ks][Qd]

----- SHOW DOWN -----
Adamc2502: shows [4s Kc] (Two Pairs, Kings and Fours, Queen high)
Platonic_: shows [Ah Kh] (A Pair of Kings, Ace high)
Adamc2502 collected £24.57 from Main pot

----- SUMMARY -----
Total pot £25.86 Main pot £24.57 Rake £1.29
Board [9s 4h 8d Ks Qd]
Seat 1: boydy07 folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 2: Gar071033 (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 4: artboruc (small blind) folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 5: Platonic_ (big blind) showed [Ah Kh] and lost with A Pair of Kings, Ace high
Seat 6: Adamc2502 showed [4s Kc] and won (£24.57) with Two Pairs, Kings and Fours, Queen high

****HAND ENDS****

SO HE CALLED ME WITH K4 PRE FLOP... WTF WTF WTF WTF.... see why it tilted me???



----- HOLE CARDS -----
dealt to Platonic_ [Kd Qc]
msoza96: calls £0.20
LadyCam: folds
Platonic_: calls £0.20
Tribalism: folds
scapaflow: folds
Cha131020: checks
----- FLOP ----- [6s Jh 9c]
Cha131020: checks
msoza96: bets £0.60
Platonic_: calls £0.60
Cha131020: folds
----- TURN ----- [6s Jh 9c][8s]
msoza96: checks
Platonic_: bets £2
msoza96: calls £2
----- RIVER ----- [6s Jh 9c 8s][4s]
msoza96: checks
Platonic_: bets £3
msoza96: calls £3

----- SHOW DOWN -----
Platonic_: shows [Kd Qc] (High Card King)
msoza96: shows [Js Th] (A Pair of Jacks, Ten high)
msoza96 collected £11.31 from Main pot


----- HOLE CARDS -----

dealt to Platonic_ [Jd Th]
WStrutt: folds
__xx___: folds
stringo: folds
Platonic_: calls £0.10
msoza96: checks
----- FLOP ----- [Jc Kh Tc]
Platonic_: bets £0.40
msoza96: raises to £1.20
Platonic_: raises to £31.78 and is all-in
msoza96: is all-in £26.63
Returned uncalled bets £3.95 to Platonic_
----- RIVER ----- [Jc Kh Tc 3h][2s]
----- SHOW DOWN -----

Platonic_: shows [Jd Th] (Two Pairs, Jacks and Tens, King high)

msoza96: shows [Kc 3c] (Two Pairs, Kings and Threes, Jack high)

msoza96 collected £53.26 from Main pot AND IS A FUCKING RETARDED FISH OF THE HIGHEST ORDER

So... I decided to move up for a boom or bust session at a £2/5 heads up table. Now noone can say I aint got balls! So of course I buy in for only £175........ then I get delt 44.........

Seat 1: Platonic_ (£174 in chips)
Seat 2: LucNilis (£504.40 in chips)
Platonic: posts small blind £2
LucNilis: posts big blind £5
----- HOLE CARDS -----
dealt to Platonic_ [4d 4c]
Platonic_: calls £3
LucNilis: raises to £9
Platonic_: raises to £18
----- FLOP ----- [4h 10c 2c]
LucNilis: bets £30
Platonic_: calls £30
----- TURN ----- [4h 10c 2c][4s]
LucNilis: bets £60
Platonic_: raises £120
LucNilis: calls £60

----- RIVER ----- [4h 10c 2c 4s][8c]
LucNilis: checks
Platonic_: checks
----- SHOW DOWN -----
LucNilis: shows [10s 10d] (3 of a kind 10s, Eight High)
Platonic_: shows [4d 4c]] (Four of a kind, Fours, Eight high)
Platonic_ collected £333.5 from Main pot



Friday, 6 June 2008

Downswing... guys. I know you have all taken delight in my recent downswing. I know the only reason for this is because you are jealous of all previous success. So lap it up while you can.

I have news for you all....... I MADE £43.50 AND COUNTING!! :D :D

so to all you cocks who have been trying to tilt me with your retarded comments in the chat box and posting fucking stupid HH's on my blog...................... FUCK YOU. I AM UNTILTABLE AND UNBEATABLE.

Godlin........... thanks for the £32.41................... you joke of a player. I heard you have been accusing me of racism.................... I'm not a racist but do you blame me for getting slightly annoyed at not being able to find a job IN MY OWN COUNTRY!!! Thats all I'm gonna say because I don't wanna cause trouble: I suggest you check out this website:
and before any of you politically correct cunts start: DONT BOTHER I DONT CARE ABOUT YOUR RETARDED OPIONIONS.

TY AND GOODNIGHT..... the undisputed king of small stakes poker....... our king..... your god...... the one and only real PLATONIC_

Wednesday, 4 June 2008

Hello plat fans and disaffected opponents.

Having read some of the comments on this blog it would appear some of you might be mildly miffed with me. Being not only a poker god but also a devout humanitarian and genuinely nice guy, I feel it may be time to apologize for my transgressions.

Firstly I would like to apologize to SaltyAce. In one of my previous posts I stated that “salty is a Stella drinking, banger driving, fat, bald, sexually frustrated numpty with a p!ss head brewer for a misses.”
I believed I had correctly pieced the clues together to form the above profile. Clearly even I am fallible. Thus it is necessary for me to go through the clues again and correct this slanderous accusation I have made.

Ok so here I will go through the clues again and correct my erroneous conclusion.

Clue1: He thinks teenagers are inferior. Indeed teenagers are a threat to his livelihood and must be discredited. They have enough of an advantage when selling there wares as it is. Highlighting their inexperience is the only thing salty has over them.

Clue 2: He uses granddad terms like wet behind the ears. This is clearly an occupational term not a granddad one as first suspected

Clue 3: He claims to be good but I never seen him win. He doesn’t play to win. He plays for the company. He tries to fit in somewhere to make him feel better about what he is. Evidence of this is the way he constantly ships chips then reloads to give the allure he is like the regs and doesn’t generally loose. Where does the vast some of money required to facilitate this come from?

Clue 4: He can play poker at work. Clearly most of his clients have internet connections he is able to use during down time between jobs. Given the class of his clients it is at work that he has acquired a taste for beverages like Rochefort10,Scheider Weisse, and Duvel.

Clue 5: He claims to understand the game but never says anything close to intelligent. Of course he’s not here to play seriously anyway he’s here to make cyber friends. It is also not reasonable to expect intelligent utterances as he is not used to thinking about what to say when moving his lips as he is so used to having a mouthful when doing well at work.

Yes people I think it is patently clear that salty is a mid to upper class Rent Boy (bet he could tall a few tales about Lord Browne). I can’t believe I got salty so wrong the first time. I mean ffs he is not like the other bhatty men in the crypto homo league. Ok so u boys do a bit of uphill gardening, fairplay to ya. Salty is different he is a little b!tch. Obviously he has developed that way I mean you not gona pay for ass fun and be the b!tch yourself are ya. I mean saying people are wet behind the ears, who the fuck would that offend? I have done some research (posed as Shitfields and phoned a gay escort agency FROM A PUBLIC PHOE BOX) and can now explain why this term is one of the most offensive a rent boy can use. When working they are often required to take a bolt shot in the face. Naturally it can go everywhere. The respectable renta-fags shower off. The dirty ones like salty wipe down. Obviously if you don’t get behind the ears you are still wet there and your next client will know you are filth. Hence the term wet behind the ears is a rent boy term that implies poor personal hygiene. I fell I have done a public service by revealing this. Now when salty says it to you will know how to respond.

Now getting back to earlier and that apology for offence I may have caused. FUCK OFF YOU FKIN TWATS. There is more chance of Jesus smoking a bifta while ice skating in hell with the abominable snow man than me apologizing for anything ever.

Loyal fans this is the one and only the king you all love and still the undisputed heavyweight champ of the small stakes poker your man our god the real plat.

Peace out to everyone except clownia, jb, jpg, sh!tfields, junkie, lisaDonk and saltySh!tb0ll0x (you been served boy).

Monday, 2 June 2008

Ha ha ha... Clownia27 gets owned

Ok so maybe not that great a day at the tables but I don't really give a shit because I owned this calling station Clownia27... or should it be Call-ia27????

----- HOLE CARDS -----
dealt to Platonic_ [8d Ad
drunkedsh: folds
Claudia27: raises to £0.80
Platonic_: calls £0.80
tomacdc: folds
Rebelsrog: folds
----- FLOP ----- [8h Kh 8c]
Claudia27: checks
Platonic_: bets £1.20
Claudia27: calls £1.20 -----> she calls me with A high on the flop
----- TURN ----- [8h Kh 8c][As]
Claudia27: checks
Platonic_: bets £3
Claudia27: calls £3 --------> hit the A and calls again! what a fish!
----- RIVER ----- [8h Kh 8c As][Th]
Claudia27: checks
Platonic_: bets £5
Claudia27: calls £5 ---------> and to top it off she calls the river! you see where the name clownia comes from??? wtf wtf wtf does she even beat????
----- SHOW DOWN -----
Platonic_: shows [8d Ad] (A Full House, Eights full of Aces)
Claudia27: mucks hand [Ac 9d]
Platonic_ collected £19.29 from Main pot

Then the very next hand she GOES ON TILT and gives her money away to me - I make a killer read that she is on tilt and call with JJ.

----- HOLE CARDS -----
dealt to Platonic_ [Jd Js]
Claudia27: raises to £9.90 and is all-in
Platonic_: calls £9.90
tomacdc: folds
Rebelsrog: folds
drunkedsh: folds
----- FLOP ----- [8c 8h Jc]
----- TURN ----- [8c 8h Jc][3c]
----- RIVER ----- [8c 8h Jc 3c][Tc]
----- SHOW DOWN -----
Claudia27: shows [Ac 5c] (A Flush, Ace high) ----> LOL A5... FISHIA27
Platonic_: shows [Jd Js] (A Full House, Jacks full of Eights)
Platonic_ collected £19.10 from Main pot

Anyway jpg00... noone cares if I just blew £60 it's only a drop in the ocean of what I will make this month!!

Untill next time. Cyaaa

Sunday, 1 June 2008


Well thats May over... what a month!

Well loyal Platonic Poker fans. What a month we have had! Not only did I have my most successful month of the year but I also started the best and most viewed poker blog of all time. TY all you muppets for reading this even if all you do is try to rip into me. One word : JEALOUS.

So after a solid month of grinding I have news for all you fish. Grinding for 6-8 hrs per day has meant I played for a total of around 180 hours this month.
I don’t mind you mocking my modest earnings but this blog is designed to let everyone KNOW THE TRUTH.

So, this month...


Lets take a look at the year so far...
January = £1388
Febuary = £1445
March = £1502
May = £1520

To be honest I'm sick of all the moronic comments getting left for me. Some UNI DROP OUT even decided to have a go at me! ha ha h a hah ha ha!!! at least i got my degree you fucking mug. WINNERS NEVER QUIT, QUITTERS NEVER WIN. Looks like you are a big massive loser at life as well as probably at poker. You know who you are, fucking MUG. Get a job you stupid fuckwhit you'll need it when the student loan runs out and mummy chucks you out!!! ah ha ha ha ha hah ahahahahaha

untill next time.... this is the undisputed KING of low stakes hold 'em of crypto signing out.

Saturday, 31 May 2008

A special treat for Tevezshit and jpg


TEVEZ - Who does this French pr!ck think he is. He has maybe had two hands off me prior to last nigh when that total doubled. If I counted the amount of times I have stacked him it would probably go into 4 figures of profit. Some of you can mock me, because u can play. I accept it as banter knowing I will set u straight for your disrespect. But Tevez common u play weekends and u are sh!t never once seen u play well or say anything vaguely intelligent. For fuck sake you come from France land of the pussy and idolize a fkin wop version of shrek (who owns the faulklands it isn’t them wop tw@ts).

Now every hand u fk up against me will be posted, and I know I won’t have to wait long for it.


Game #7274480534: Hold'em NL (£0.10/£0.20) - 2008/05/30 - 22:37:55 (UK)
Table "Mormach" Seat 4 is the button.
----- SHOW DOWN -----
Platonic_: shows [8c 8s] (Three of a kind, Eights, Nine high)
Jpg00: shows [2c 2h] (Three of a kind, Twos, Nine high)
Platonic_ collected £26.59 from Main pot
----- SUMMARY -----
Total pot £27.98 Main pot £26.59 Rake £1.39
Board [2s 6s 9c 8h 4h]
Seat 1: Jpg00 (small blind) showed [2c 2h] and lost with Three of a kind, Twos, Nine high
Seat 2: Shau01035 (big blind) folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 3: Platonic_ showed [8c 8s] and won (£26.59) with Three of a kind, Eights, Nine high
Seat 4: __sp__ (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)

Ok I only saved the summary but hey that’s all it takes. Usual jpg raises I call with anything generally because when it misses it folds without fight never draws easy money. A re raise normally means nuts as it lacks the skill to play anything else.

Now nothing on the flop matched a jpg raising hand other than 22 66 99 78, I raise and get re raised. At this point I thought fk it if I hit an 8 I surely win, maybe a running draw, wow what a suckout that would be and lets face it jpg hardly bets so you don’t get to many opportunities. Also for a toothless nuts player that sh!ts themselves with any less than nuts this tw@T has a big mouth. JPG YOU ARE SH!T YOU CAN NOT PLAY YOU WAIT FOR MONSTERS AND EVERYONE FOLDS COS THEY KNOW THAT’S ALL YOU CAN BET WITH IF YOU MAKE ANYTHING I WILL BE AMAZED. So what should I do with my 88 facing this tw@ts rather obvious set??? I chuck it all in and make a better set on turn ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Is this good poker no and I know it is bad, but I just want jpg to know that the 70 pound I took off you last two day plus all the little pots will not be coming back to you. I mix it up and occasionally and take mad risks, which is why my nut hands get called and yours never do. I fking own you, you are a muppet don’t bother running ya mouth till ya can start to run a table you tooth less muppet. 222 donked by 88 ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

The Slowplay

A lot of people have given me stick for this hand in the chat box at the tables... as promised here are my thoughts on this hand.

Game #7217753844: Hold'em NL (£0.10/£0.20) - 2008/05/25 - 19:18:30 (UK)
Table "Vimuvimuyov" Seat 5 is the button.
Seat 1: Dar210235 (£12.78 in chips)
Seat 2: Platonic_ (£11.85 in chips)
Seat 3: Mattbdd (£18.40 in chips)
Seat 4: 15ti1000 (£55.82 in chips)
Seat 5: Tamasaa (£18.69 in chips)
Seat 6: Nic140821 (£5 in chips)
Dar210235: posts small blind £0.10
Platonic_: posts big blind £0.20
----- HOLE CARDS -----
dealt to Platonic [7s 7h]
Mattbdd: raises to £0.80
15ti1000: folds
Tamasaa: calls £0.80
Dar210235: folds
Platonic_: calls £0.60
----- FLOP ----- [9d 8d 7c]
Platonic_: checks
Mattbdd: checks
Tamasaa: checks
----- TURN ----- [9d 8d 7c][7d]
Platonic_: checks
Mattbdd: checks
Tamasaa: checks
----- RIVER ----- [9d 8d 7c 7d][6s]
Platonic_: checks
Mattbdd: checks
Tamasaa: checks
----- SHOW DOWN -----
Platonic_: shows [7s 7h] (Four of a kind, Sevens, Nine high)
Mattbdd: mucks hand [Js Kh]
Tamasaa: mucks hand [Jc Ad]
Platonic_ collected £2.38 from Main pot
----- SUMMARY -----
Total pot £2.50 Main pot £2.38 Rake £0.12
Board [9d 8d 7c 7d 6s]
Seat 1: Dar210235 (small blind) folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 2: Platonic_ (big blind) showed [7s 7h] and won (£2.38) with Four of a kind, Sevens, Nine high
Seat 3: Mattbdd mucked [Js Kh]
Seat 4: 15ti1000 folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 5: Tamasaa (button) mucked [Jc Ad]

1. I flat call from the BB preflop to disguise my pocket pair.

2. I check the flop because these fish will chase their draws anyway.

3. Turn brings me quads, so if I bet they will obv fold. Also I'm a bit scared of the straight flush draw so that's another reason not to bet.



If anyone has any comments or STILL wants to argue about the hand then I will he happy to discuss it in the chat box.

Also shout out to Houchen who has been crushing the last few days making hero call downs versus those morons. This guys reading ability is up there with Daniel Negradeu.

Thursday, 29 May 2008

£1345 Now

Just played a short session and stcked one of those so called "regulars".

Profit for month now up from £1300 to £1345. BITE ME FISH

I invite any of you anonymous morons to come and try to stack me at MY tables

I'm off out to work... and no I don't pick up dog shit like some suggest!!!!

Fk me what can I say?

This is an honor all you gruffnuts (those little bits of crap that stick to ya ass) I don’t even know comes here and tells me to get a life. This is incredible I never realized my little rants could make such a difference in the world.

Break even at best lol that fkin kills me. Hate till ya hearts content but know that you pay for me to sit there taking the p!ss out of ya. TA.

I must confess to being a little disheartened at having to communicate to my loyal fans in this way but i refuse to talk to any of you FUCKWITS at the tables any more.

£1300 p this month (with rakeback and bonus) has fortunately paid for this sad cu nts CHELSEA season ticket. Though unfortunately I do not have enough to get Drogba shot (Anyone who can help with that make donations at willie hills in the usual manner)

To those who are offended by me ha ha ha ha eat my sh!t and die you are the products of split condoms and live only to remind people why abortion remains legal. And these regulars ha ha ha ha ha anonymous regulars ha ha ha ha ha don’t be scared I stack you daily I’l stack u if I know who you are or not. Fkin grow a pair.

Loyal fans this is the one and only the king you all love the undisputed heavyweight champ of the small stakes poker your man our god the real plat.

Peace out to everyone except clownia, jb, jpg, sh!tfields, junkie, lisaDonk and saltySh!tb0ll0x.

Wednesday, 28 May 2008


Ok so some joker found out about my blog somehow? This was meant to be a bit of fun by everyone at the tables just started ripping into me as soon as I sat down so I'm not going to stoop to their level and will not be playing for the rest of the night to wait for this to die down.

To all you morons - get a fucking life.

You know who you are - that manc cunt JPG, jenny, Saltyace, 15ti1000, sp, Clownia, mzosa, Lowfeilds I know those annonamus comments are by you or your cronies. Get a grip and go fuck yourselfs

I'll be back tomorrow to take all of ur fucking money

Monday, 26 May 2008


Game #6894818794: Hold'em NL (£0.10/£0.20) - 2008/05/26 - 16:15:05 (UK)
Table "Mikunoz" Seat 3 is the button.
Seat 1: ___tom___ (£24.87 in chips)
Seat 2: thargian (£8.99 in chips)
Seat 3: Platonic_ (£11.94 in chips)
Seat 4: jbpokher (£19.90 in chips)
Seat 5: Iamanit (£25.67 in chips)
Seat 6: Willieboy (£17.98 in chips)
jbpokher: posts small blind £0.10
Iamanit: posts big blind £0.20
----- HOLE CARDS -----
dealt to Platonic_ [Ad Ac]
Willieboy: calls £0.20
___tom___: calls £0.20
thargian: folds
Platonic_: raises to £0.80
jbpokher: folds
Iamanit: folds
Willieboy: calls £0.60
___tom___: calls £0.60
----- FLOP ----- [Kh 5h Td]
Willieboy: bets £1
___tom___: calls £1
Platonic_: raises to £4
Willieboy: folds
___tom___: calls £3
----- TURN ----- [Kh 5h Td][Qh]
___tom___: checks
Platonic_: bets £7.14 and is all-in
___tom___: calls £7.14
----- RIVER ----- [Kh 5h Td Qh][Qd]
----- SHOW DOWN -----
Platonic_: shows [Ad Ac] (Two Pairs, Aces and Queens, King high)
___tom___: shows [Jh Qs] (Three of a kind, Queens, King high)
___tom___ collected £24.69 from Main pot
----- SUMMARY -----
Total pot £25.98 Main pot £24.69 Rake £1.29
Board [Kh 5h Td Qh Qd]
Seat 1: ___tom___ showed [Jh Qs] and won (£24.69) with Three of a kind, Queens, King high
Seat 2: thargian folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 3: Platonic_ (button) showed [Ad Ac] and lost with Two Pairs, Aces and Queens, King high
Seat 4: jbpokher (small blind) folded before Flop (didn't bet)

Friday, 23 May 2008

So fish sometimes win

I wasnt to down hearted after the chelsea score as I find winning all the time pretty boring. I managed to play between 5-12 hours yesterday and about 3 so far today. Decided to take break as i was running SO FUCKING SICK.

this hand pissed me of

Game #7197048524: Hold'em NL (£0.10/£0.20) - 2008/05/23 - 20:59:21 (UK)
Table "Pazamptik" Seat 6 is the button.
Seat 1: Platonic_ (£9.36 in chips)
Seat 2: Jpg00 sits out
Seat 3: Ranaman (£24.81 in chips)
Seat 4: Nei090125 (£22.51 in chips)
Seat 5: Ale061229 (£11.80 in chips)
Seat 6: 15ti1000 (£31.30 in chips)
Platonic_: posts small blind £0.10
Ranaman: posts big blind £0.20
----- HOLE CARDS -----
dealt to Platonic_ [Jc Jd]
Nei090125: folds
Ale061229: folds
15ti1000: raises to £0.80
Platonic_: raises to £1.40
Ranaman: folds
15ti1000: calls £0.60
----- FLOP ----- [Qs 2h Qd]
Platonic_: checks
15ti1000: checks
----- TURN ----- [Qs 2h Qd][Kd]
Platonic_: checks
15ti1000: checks
----- RIVER ----- [Qs 2h Qd Kd][2s]
Platonic_: checks
15ti1000: bets £3
Platonic_: calls £3
----- SHOW DOWN -----
15ti1000: shows [Kc Ad] (Two Pairs, Kings and Queens, Ace high)
Platonic_: mucks hand [Jd Js]
15ti1000 collected £8.55 from Main pot

FFS what did he put me on, my minraise preflop worked a treat as i knew the fish would call with 2 overcards. Warning fish AK aint the nuts.

There has been alot of talk about this "Looser18" who has recently started some challenge of turning £500 into £50k. He'll be here for years if he keeps up his nitty antics. I stacked him a couple of times where he called down very weak. Hope he's still playing £200nl when i move up.

Wednesday, 14 May 2008

So many FISH

So I played some poker tonight. 8 hours of 6 tables of £20NL.... and ended up with a £3.21 profit! :D :D :D When you add all the rakeback and bonuses I'm getting for that you can see the vast amounts of money I'm making each month.

I think often that I am making much too advanced plays for this level of blinds - this is why I want to move upto £5/£10 as quickly as possible - so that finally someone will respect my raises.

This hand is a prime example-
Game #7098210554: Hold'em NL (£0.10/£0.20) - 2008/05/14 - 17:30:36 (UK)
Table "Pazamptik" Seat 4 is the button.
Seat 1: Mar050749 (£19.20 in chips)
Seat 2: Claudia27 (£29.71 in chips)
Seat 3: Dougie123 (£4.31 in chips)
Seat 4: Kei090213 (£106.49 in chips)
Seat 5: Platonic_ (£9.12 in chips)
Seat 6: Sean13066 (£14.25 in chips)
Platonic_: posts small blind £0.10
Sean13066: posts big blind £0.20
----- HOLE CARDS -----
dealt to Platonic [Ks Ah]
Mar050749: folds
Claudia27: raises to £0.80
Dougie123: folds
Kei090213: folds
Platonic_: calls £0.70 -----------> I TRAP WITH AK, THIS IS CLASSIC
Sean13066: calls £0.60
----- FLOP ----- [8s 8h 4h]
Sean13066: bets £2
Claudia27: calls £2
Platonic_: calls £2 ----------------> I CALL, IM REPPING ACES OR AJ
----- TURN ----- [8s 8h 4h][9c]
Sean13066: bets £3.60 -----> LOL, IDIOT
Claudia27: folds
Platonic_: raises to £6.32 and is all-in -----------> I RAISE ALL IN AND IT'S £2.72 MORE TO CALL....
Sean13066: calls £2.72 ----------> WTF!!?? HE CALLED? WHAT HE GOT?
----- RIVER ----- [8s 8h 4h 9c][3h]
----- SHOW DOWN -----
Platonic_: shows [Ks Ah] (A Pair of Eights, Ace high)
Sean13066: shows [Tc Ts] (Two Pairs, Tens and Eights, Nine high) --------->> FUCKING FISH, HOW CAN HE EVER CALL ME WITH 10 10 HERE???
Sean13066 collected £19.99 from Main pot
----- SUMMARY -----
Total pot £21.04 Main pot £19.99 Rake £1.05
Board [8s 8h 4h 9c 3h]
Seat 1: Mar050749 folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 2: Claudia27 folded on the Turn
Seat 3: Dougie123 folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 4: Kei090213 (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 5: Platonic_ (small blind) showed [Ks Ah] and lost with A Pair of Eights, Ace high
Seat 6: Sean13066 (big blind) showed [Tc Ts] and won (£19.99) with Two Pairs, Tens and Eights, Nine high
****HAND ENDS****

Do you see what I mean???? Fucking fish can;t fold a hand... so from now on I will never bluff again. Ok.

Total profit for day = £3.21

Monday, 12 May 2008

Welcome to my blog.

Hello poker world, my name is Platonic and I 'm a full time poker player. I'm pretty fucking good at it if I do say so myself. Some see me as arrogant but with skillz like me who wouldn't be. You can decide for yourselves. I've made this blog to track my poker progress.

I currently CRUSH the £20 NO LIMIT hold em tables on the cryptologic network but I will hopefully be moving up to £50NL then £100NL then £500NL then £1000NL etc pretty soon. Most of the time I choose to buy in for around £10-£14 which seems to be a hot topic of debate at the tables and people are constantly ripping into me because of this. They just don't understand the game the way I do. I'll reveal why I buy in short in a future post if there is enough demand for it.

Anyway, I'm off too make some £££££s, I'll post some hands to educate you later.