Tuesday 31 March 2009

Live poker story

Went to play my usual low key 1/1 cash game at the Vic last night, trying to avoid the autograph hunters that read my blog.

Live poker is one of the few places i can still let my hair down so to speak. Anway, I sit down and quickly notice a newbie is giving it the big I am splashing his chips around and giviing the staff grief.

Obviously this is nothing new and I think little of it other than to try and stamp my authority on the table with some loose play and a few verbals and banter

Matey boy shows his true colours when not tipping the waitress as she gave him a dirty look when he grabbed her buttocks. She's a good mate of mine so I told him he was bang out order. From another table his mate , a guy who was twice as fat as me, starting to goad me, I want to be your friend PLATONIC etc.
He too, ordered a pint and the waitress's boyfriend made sure his pint had a good "head", lol.

Anyway, bingo bago bongo tight wadd gruffnut is all in and I look down at aces. I slowroll him as Im fuming by now before making the call.

He is so excited he flips up his kings like the newbie he is. I keep my cards covered knowing I just have to dodge a king or diamond on the river to scoop.
The river is a blank but I remember a tip my actor mate, Bepe gave me and told him his hand was good and to pay him up. His face lit , and using all my acting skill i told him I was lying a pulled the monster stack my way showing my bullets.

His gargantuan friend from the other table went bezerk and came waddling over, but his headphones wires caught on his chair in a comedy monment as he still had an old stylee personal cd player (with, would you believe Banarama on it). It was classic stuff, we had such a laugh ripping him to shreds, Banafingrama i ask you!
Moral: TIP THE WAITRESS GRUFFNUT!

Update

Hi guys sorry not updated in a while. I've had some problems with Hills and have had my account locked for nearly a month now so haven't yet played on iPoker. I'm pleased to tell you I have had some great sucess playing live. I've been playing the £1/£1 game at the Vic and over the past month I've won around £15,000. These guys there are such fish.

I've got an amusing story from last night that I will post in a bit, I'm off to the pub for a bit.

Saturday 14 March 2009

SOLIED UNDERWEAR

Gruffnuts,

To cater to popular demand(im regular bein asked at tables),i have agreed to sell my soiled underwear,rangin from naturally aged to freshly soiled(state your preference when ordering)

Fuck the lot of ya,

Plat

Friday 6 March 2009

Gruffnuts

Thanks for your comments i love you all.

Ive been having a bad run lately due to arse munching fucking faggots like $bankjob$ who always lands a river and totaly fucks me and my never ending roll. So im piping down and getting ready for the big 1 which i feel is just round the corner.

Fuck balmore and look out Gulkiness u tilted spunk breathing orval drinking batty boy.

peace out, Platonic_