Friday 31 October 2008

Gruffnuts,

Ok,so im sure you all heard about my fall on 25/50p.,its true,yes i did lose around £1k in the first week,but dont worry cause i realised there was a certain strategy or two i wasnt employing for the change in stakes,i now realise what it is after takin some time playin both 10p/20p and 25p/50p and am now back multi-tabling 25p/50p and mean serious business now,playin close to 100% perfect.I firmly believe the regulars too are giving me much more respect now.I will MURDER this level in no time and am still on for £1/£2 by Jan,maybe Feb at the latest.I'm being very selective of which tables i choose and see Gede and Balti as the easiest players to extract money from,but im not gonna divulge how i'm doin it,these gruffnuts are just way too much ABC and dunno how to adjust to a player of my skills and trickiness.

This will be a major story soon,up there with Loser18's biggest falls(only mine is goin in the other direction),i was down to £13.45 at one point,that will be the turnin point when i write my biography from my swimmin pool overlookin the hills in some exotic location,with tonnes of hookers around me catering to my every need.How will you feel Loser18 and Guilkines knowin that you have paid for that lifestyle,while your strugglin to buy a loaf of bread?

Thank God for online poker,i was headin for a life of crime and jail etc,not really seein my purpose in life,then along it came,my escape and rags to riches story.A story which starts now,cos i been messin around atr gruffnut stakes for too long,im destined for far bigger and better.

To all you Gruffnuts who want me heads up,just be patient,i wanna reach £1/£2 then ill take anyone on at that stake..Feb at latest.

Sorry if i dissapointed my loyal fans with my recent demise but hey,every success is never without its minor hiccups,and im back stronger than ever now,

Fuck off to the gruffnuts,foreigners and losers,

Your Hero,

Platonic_

Tuesday 28 October 2008

wow

3 posts in 10 minutes, No i havent lost my mind, My name is just Gay Bilingham MWHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

seriously? who reads his blog apart from loyal plat fans who laugh.

gruffnuts


thats right you bunch of gruffnuts look what i just bought with Baltis money!!!

Platonics Lingo

1. Gruffnut 22 up, 4 down
The clotting of anal hair due to the application of excrement.
Oooooo I don't think I wiped properly I've got gruffnuts hangin out of my posterior
by Dave T Oct 26, 2003 share this add comment

2. gruffnut 7 up, 2 down
noun; a piece (or pieces) of faeces stuck in the hair around your anus
"mate, i found the biggest gruffnut last nite"
shit poo bum anus poo hair
by james-is-sexy Jan 19, 2006 share this add comment

3. Gruffnut 8 up, 5 down
the pooey mess left behind in the anal hair if an anus is not wiped with enough care is called gruffnut.
Glen recieved lots of gruffnut when he went for a poo and didnt wipe afterwards. This caused a discusting mess to be left in his anal hair over the anal region and his undergarments.

Wednesday 22 October 2008

Classic Plat

Here is a my classic guide to the 3/4ths but in law. This is for all the new loyal Plat fans who may have missed this post, it's also updated for my new steaks of 25p/50p.

Platonics poker guide: 1. The 3/4ths Buy In Law

Quite a few poker books I have read recently have helped my game a lit, but there are some big holes in them and they have not been updated for the 21st centuary - I news for you Slansky and co. - POKER HAS CHANGED SINCE YOUR DAY..... and ONLINE POKER IS A DIFFERENT GAME ALTOGETHER.

Some of you gruffnuts have been pestering me about my £35 to £38 buy in tactic. I've had some reservations about revealing why I do this as this law of poker will change the face of the internet games forever... but here goes.

I've decided to call this law the PLAT-Stack law of poker.

Advantages of "The PLAT-stack":

- When I get a bad beat or a "cooler" situation (like top pair vs top pair (better kicker)) I only lose 3/4ths of my stack. This is an obvious advantage as it means I lose less money.

- It allows me to double up a lot easier.

- The element of surprise. These fish don't notice that one minute I sit with £35 then 2 secs later I have well over £50.

- It lets me play my draws and pairs.

- It makes me unique (although I have recently seen some dudes trying to copy me; e.g. SEXPEST, TEEGA and 4KINGI)

- When I get over £62 I get up instantly and leave. This allows me to never lose any big pots.

- It allows me to play for bigger steaks with less of a bankroll - this was a major factor in my quick rise through the stakes on crypto towards my current status of OWNING £50NL. It is no longer a problem as my bankroll is massive. I could easily move upto 50NL and crush but I'm not sure of the optimal amount to buy in for (anyone who knows gimmie a shout in the comments).




Thats about it. I know a lot of people have been waiting for this info - feel free to share it with your close friends and family.

Beware someone is posting a fake Plato blog... what a loser... I recon it's Loser18 trying to get back at me for stacking him twice. WHAT A GRUFFNUT. My next blog will concentrate on the 2nd LAW of online poker - how to use your position to your advantage.

Remember dudes it's only a game so put up a real good fight. We're gonna be "pokering" you tonight. The one and only, undisputed top dog of cryto, best poker instructer in the UK, PLATONIC_ (your king, their god)

Thank me later....

Sunday 19 October 2008

Shite day

ok guys I've gotta tell you all that I am SEETHING.

Life has been really good to me recently and I know that I am a very lucky man (apart from at poker). I have been winning LOADS OF MONEY at 25p/50p over the last week and a bit.

Then the day from hell happens.
Friday night I went round my mates house and we grinded the tables from around 6pm to 10am the following morning. I won £200 in this time. Saturday Morning Kitchen came on and we decided to call it a night. I love that show. I'd just won £200 and I was watching Saturday Morning Kitchen on a 42" PLASMA TV with a good friend of mine. LIFE COULDN'T GET ANY BETTER...

BUT... IT COULD GET A LOT WORSE.

I left my mates house after Saturday Morning Kitchen and went to the local tesco metro to buy some energy juice as I had no sleep in 36 hours. I was looking in the fridges for my fave 6 cans of Red Bull.... I asked the young asian chap who worked there where the Red Bull was... he said they didn't have any in. I WAS FUMING. Who the fuck did this guy think he was to talk to me like that??? I ASKED HIM IF THEY HAD ANY BANNANAS AND HE SAID "YES OVER THERE", I GAVE HIM A SLAP AND LEFT IT AT THAT. FUCKING RETARD.

So, I had to settle for Relentless (shit, has anyone tried it before?). Then to my disgust.... when I get to the till... who geets me other than a dirty POLISH CUNT-BAG SLUT. I told her to shave her moustache a left it at that.

So by this time I'm pretty tilted so I jump in my car and drive home to grab my ticket and head off up north to the match. I'm on my way to the game and my car starts making strange noises... nothing new there I think to myself. Then.... BOOOOM. Something explodes out of no where. The engine stops so I pull over to the side of the motorway. I phone up the AA because I dont have a clue about cars and the indian fuckwhit on the other end of the phone tells me it will take between 2 and 3 hours for a mechanic to come look at my car. WHAT A FUCKING JOKE. To cut a long story short this country is going to shit because of all these fucking foreigners coming in and taking all of our jobs.... then doing a totally shit job. WHEN THE MECHANIC FINALLY GOT THERE AND I SAW THAT HE WAS BLACK..... I TOLD HIM TO FUCK OFF AND GOT A TAXI TO MIDDLESBROUGH AND SAW THE LAST 4 MINUTES OF THE GAME. I MISSED ALL THE GOALS FFS.

THIS WAS ONE OF THE WORST DAYS OF MY LIFE. ON A PAR WITH WHEN MY MUM CHUCKED ME OUT THE HOUSE AND I HAD TO EAT TOMATOE SAUCE SACHES FOR 4 DAYS UNTILL MY MONEY GOT PAID INTO MY BANK BY WILLIAM HILLS.

what a fucking joke

i was so tilted i didnt play yesterday (first day off in 3 years)

anyway, I URGE PEOPLE TO READ THIS SITE, THEY HAVE SOME VERY GOOD IDEAS BUT PEOPLE JUST SEE THE NAME AND JUDGE. PLEASE EVERYONE JUST GIVE THE BNP A CHANCE.

PLAONIC_

Wednesday 15 October 2008

Gay Billingham

I've had enough of this moaning useless drop out prick. It has come to my attention that GAY BILLINGHAM has been talking shit about me on internet messageboards and other blogs. WHO THE FUCK DOES HE THINK HE IS???

I've created a short film to show what I am going to do to him when I find out where he lives. All I can say is that I will be putting the Thai Boxing I've been going to recently to good use.

GAZ, I'M COMING AFTER YOU. YOUR THE BIGGEST GRUFFNUT OF THEM ALL.

<a href="http://www.grapheine.com">Grapheine : Agence communication Paris communication agency French illustrator création d'affiche</a><noembed> </object>

25p/50p, and Loyal Plat Fans


Yesterday I made my debut at the 25p/50p tables. I was greeted with a warm welcome from the likes of 4_King_I, Balti, Gambleag and the Gede... they are all loyal Plat fans and were pleased to see the great one move up.

I took £30 off Balti when it hit a stright vs his flopped set (he bet flop then check called 2 small bets). Then Gede made a horrible play on another table when he shoved in pre flop with AK... I SNAP-CALLED with QQ and took down a huge £85 pot. On the other table I got a bad beat when my AQ lost all in against a short stack with 44.... Flop 3AQ... turn 8... river 4. I took it in my stride and used the breathing techniques that I was taught at Thai Boxing.

I also played some £5 6 seater Sit n Goes... I got an amazing record at these... Check it out

Anyway I've added a few new things to my blog... all you loyal Plat fans can show your support by becoming an offical "follower".

I'm away to start grinding now. GL me. Going out with Cute_fish to the pictures tonight, should be fun! ;)

Laters Guys

Monday 13 October 2008

The New Plat


Hey guys,

I've turned the corner in my life.

I have finally reached inner peace with myself.

Bad beats will no longer send me mental (see previous post).

I've started eating a proper balanced diet (no more pot noodles... apart from at the weekend). AND TO BE HONEST MY RECENT RESULTS HAVE IMPROVED SO MUCH. I'm moving upto £50nl next week. I've started working out and have been going the gym twice a day and also going to Thai Kickboxing classes.

I actually met a fellow poker player at the Kickboxing.... lol.... he was there wearing a Pokerstars T-shirt so I knew we would hit it off straight away. We got talking and he plays on the same site as me.... infact sometimes I have watched him play (I really respect his game). We went out after kickboxing on Friday looking for chicks in town (unfortunately no joy) then went home and I watched him playing £200nl. HE WAS CRUSHING.

One thing that struck me was how tight he was.... it was strange... he was only playing like 15% of hands but everyone still payed him off. I was like "WTF". I wasnt the only one who thought this it appears as some dude at the table was calling him a "NIT"??? I dnno what this means but I asked Matthew and he was like "it dosent matter.. that moron dosent know what he's doing".... I was like "WTF?? OK?"... we played side by side till 7am in the morning then he let me share his bed. What a nice chap! To anyone who plays on crypto and was wondering who it was.... the dudes name is Cute_fish. He's a really nice guy and we are going to the pics on Wed night.

To all those saying I "faked" my PT screen shot.... think again you fucking clowns.

I also saw that fat fuck AMAGAY on TV the other night.... what an embarrassment to all poker players he is. A GRADE-A FUCKING GRUFFNUT. That should have been me on the TV.... at least I play real poker unlike that tourney donk luckbox. FUCKING JOKE.

So far this month I have made £721.23 from 10p 20p.

TY GRUFFNUTS

the REAL PLATONIC_

Thursday 9 October 2008

up £90 30 mins late im stuck £180 WTF



Here is a pic of my PC monitor i destroyed. Im fed up of the bad beats ive been gettin on hills, people speak about bad beats alot to me, but lately ive had so many that is is UNREAL. It got the point where i was literally sick out of my caravan window. I just dont know wht to do this shit has been goin on for over a year now. God bless rake back.

Ill post hh at a later date but i currently just feel to sick to look through them.

Tuesday 7 October 2008

to all my doubters




this is my pt2 stats for this month. Ive been putting in a sick amount of hands so far. Think Ill wait till next month to move up to 25p50p tho

Saturday 4 October 2008

i slipped up

As you loyal plat fans will well know by now, i do not normally drink alcohol. My dad was an alcoholic and i swear to myself never to be like him. when i drink alcohol i go mental. So today i am very disapointed with myself, as i also took alot of class A drugs.
I wasnt even wanting to drink but i got the worse bad beat of all time. I smashed my PC screen to bits and i needed some relief. IK flicked through the gig guide and saw the venga boys(my favourite band of my youth) were playing at a local venue so i decided to go down and get smashed.
It was a good night but i ended up getting thrown out for dancing stripping untill i was stark bollok naked. When i got outside i ended up taking on TWO doormen. They thhought i was just another fool but little they knew i was a karate expert and i ended up kicking both there heads in before making a timely exit before the police got there,

On the poker front i dont think i am going to be moving up this month due to the fact i broke my PC screen, so i will need to replace that and that is a succnificant chunck of my bank roll.

Friday 3 October 2008

PISHED


HI TO ALJ OF MY PLAT FANS IAM PRETTY DRUNK ANDF JUSDT TOOK AN ECTASY TABLET WOOHOO I WENT TO SEE THE VENGA BOYS TONGIT AND GOT A BIT CARRIED AWAY HERE IS A PIC OF ME. IM CURNTLY CHLIN IN MY CARAVAN SMOKIN A SPLIFF