Wednesday, 25 June 2008



Following my last post i recieved some critisizem. But some people private messaged me saying "thanks for the tips Plat" and "we'd love to learn more Plat". So for those followers I shall unleash my positional strategy.

LAW 1. if you are able to limp your sb DO IT FFS. I mean its only 10p more and you will be the 1st to fire out.

LAW 2. play multi way pots from the sb as it allows you to check raise

LAW 3. if its been folded to the dealers button open limp hands from 22-qq 34-79-qj ect

LAW 4. dont let the sb push you about, just because he is the 1st firing out it doesnt meen he has the hand every time.

now to deal with some of my gruffnut critics.

__sp__; WTF WTF WTF, i mean he claims not to have used my strategy but when i was table spying for 2 hours i saw him putting the PLAT STACK into action with more success than usual. the fucking station.

mszoza; you are the biggest grufnut of the lot!!! you fucking spoon! yeh king 3 is a great hand ill call platonic_ all in who has an obv 2 pair

Sunday, 22 June 2008

Platonics poker guide: 1. The 3/4ths Buy In Law

Quite a few poker books I have read recently have helped my game a lit, but there are some big holes in them and they have not been updated for the 21st centuary - I news for you Slansky and co. - POKER HAS CHANGED SINCE YOUR DAY..... and ONLINE POKER IS A DIFFERENT GAME ALTOGETHER.

Some of you gruffnuts have been pestering me about my £14 to £15 buy in tactic. I've had some reservations about revealing why I do this as this law of poker will change the face of the internet games forever... but here goes.

I've decided to call this law the PLAT-Stack law of poker.

Advantages of "The PLAT-stack":

- When I get a bad beat or a "cooler" situation (like top pair vs top pair (better kicker)) I only lose 3/4ths of my stack. This is an obvious advantage as it means I lose less money.

- It allows me to double up a lot easier.

- The element of surprise. These fish don't notice that one minute I sit with £14 then 2 secs later I have well over £20.

- It lets me play my draws and pairs.

- It makes me unique (although I have recently seen some dudes trying to copy me; e.g. Godlin, Strutty and __sp__)

- When I get over £28 I get up instantly and leave. This allows me to never lose any big pots.

- It allows me to play for bigger steaks with less of a bankroll - this was a major factor in my quick rise through the stakes on crypto towards my current status of OWNING £20NL. It is no longer a problem as my bankroll is massive. I could easily move upto 50NL and crush but I'm not sure of the optimal amount to buy in for (anyone who knows gimmie a shout in the comments).

Thats about it. I know a lot of people have been waiting for this info - feel free to share it with your close friends and family.

Beware someone is posting a fake Plato blog... what a loser... I recon it's Loser18 trying to get back at me for stacking him twice. WHAT A GRUFFNUT. My next blog will concentrate on the 2nd LAW of online poker - how to use your position to your advantage.

Remember dudes it's only a game so put up a real good fight. We're gonna be "pokering" you tonight. The one and only, undisputed top dog of cryto, best poker instructer in the UK, PLATONIC_ (your king, their god)

Thank me later....

Thursday, 19 June 2008

Buying in for 3/4ths of the max buy in.

Hello Plat fans. Long time no post. I've been busy crushing the 20NL tables as usual and have also went on quite a few one day fishing trips with my dad. I totally owned him and caught way more fish and more to the point bigger fish. One fish I caught was fucking huge. My dad was pretty pissed off because he taught me how to fish in the first place.

Anyway, I've had a number of comments and eMails asking to to explain my short stack strategy. I've been working on a post like this for a long time as I think it will change the face of NL poker.

I'm still putting it together but I just thought I'd let you know that it is coming soon, as some of you fish seem to be getting restless. Don't worry - I will share with you my great insight in to NL game very soon.

For now I will leave you with a picture of the fish i caught on Monday.

Sunday, 15 June 2008

gay bilingham


Ok, i know Ive had my critics, but this bilingham twat takes the cheesy biscuit. I meen wtf wtf wtf. I dont know what the fuck he does but i know one thing, he is obsessed with my poker skillz. Only 2 days ago he admitted watching me for 2 hours to try and learn a thing or two about the game i CRUSH. He said 2 hours but i reccon it was alot longer.

He idolisises losing players. ie, AMAGAY , BLUESCOUSE

He slams winning players. ie, Platonic_

I meen wtf wtf wtf with a name like gay bilingham your just born to be a twat. You can threaten me all you want but at the end of the day we will probably never meet and what you dont know is i am a black belt in Karate. A fact few people know about as i dont like to boost as I pride my character on being a Modest Honest chap.

Now ive dealt with that piece of shit.

Id like to announce, Im considering moving up. I meen Ive outgrown 10p20p and beating that game every night is just boring now. I dunno if i should go to 15p25p or just dive in a the deep end at 25p50p.

also alot of the fish have left the 10p 20p tables, ie, fudsalad, _jeny_, shitfields, Jpoofg, 15ti10

Thursday, 12 June 2008

New account

I'm thinking of getting a new account with a different username because of all the abuse and threats I'm getting at the tables.

also i think my Platonic_ account my be rigged as so far this month i have only had 2 winning days. i not gonna lie times are very though at the moment.... im considering selling the caravan. any offers?

Sunday, 8 June 2008

Phew, tilted a bit but won it all back and more!

Yo Plat fans and retarded fuckwhits (I can tell there are a few now reading my blog),

What a rollercoster it has been tonight for the Platmeister! The final straw was when I found myself sitting at at £2/5NL table! WFT WFT WFF.

Firstly this hand PEEED me off big time:

----- HOLE CARDS -----
dealt to Platonic_ [
Ah Kh]
Adamc2502: calls £0.20
boydy07: folds
Gar071033: folds
artboruc: folds
Platonic_: raises to £0.60
Adamc2502: calls £0.40

----- FLOP ----- [9s 4h 8d]
Platonic_: bets £1 ------> standard steel bet
Adamc2502: calls £1

----- TURN ----- [9s 4h 8d][Ks]
Platonic_: checks-----> hit my bingo card so I decided to check - raise!
Adamc2502: bets £1
Platonic_: raises to £3
Adamc2502: raises to £12.07 and is all-in wft wft wft wff
Platonic_: is all-in £8.28 - gotta call i got top pair!! wooooooooooooo
Returned uncalled bets £0.79 to Adamc2502

----- RIVER ----- [9s 4h 8d Ks][Qd]

----- SHOW DOWN -----
Adamc2502: shows [4s Kc] (Two Pairs, Kings and Fours, Queen high)
Platonic_: shows [Ah Kh] (A Pair of Kings, Ace high)
Adamc2502 collected £24.57 from Main pot

----- SUMMARY -----
Total pot £25.86 Main pot £24.57 Rake £1.29
Board [9s 4h 8d Ks Qd]
Seat 1: boydy07 folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 2: Gar071033 (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 4: artboruc (small blind) folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 5: Platonic_ (big blind) showed [Ah Kh] and lost with A Pair of Kings, Ace high
Seat 6: Adamc2502 showed [4s Kc] and won (£24.57) with Two Pairs, Kings and Fours, Queen high

****HAND ENDS****

SO HE CALLED ME WITH K4 PRE FLOP... WTF WTF WTF WTF.... see why it tilted me???



----- HOLE CARDS -----
dealt to Platonic_ [Kd Qc]
msoza96: calls £0.20
LadyCam: folds
Platonic_: calls £0.20
Tribalism: folds
scapaflow: folds
Cha131020: checks
----- FLOP ----- [6s Jh 9c]
Cha131020: checks
msoza96: bets £0.60
Platonic_: calls £0.60
Cha131020: folds
----- TURN ----- [6s Jh 9c][8s]
msoza96: checks
Platonic_: bets £2
msoza96: calls £2
----- RIVER ----- [6s Jh 9c 8s][4s]
msoza96: checks
Platonic_: bets £3
msoza96: calls £3

----- SHOW DOWN -----
Platonic_: shows [Kd Qc] (High Card King)
msoza96: shows [Js Th] (A Pair of Jacks, Ten high)
msoza96 collected £11.31 from Main pot


----- HOLE CARDS -----

dealt to Platonic_ [Jd Th]
WStrutt: folds
__xx___: folds
stringo: folds
Platonic_: calls £0.10
msoza96: checks
----- FLOP ----- [Jc Kh Tc]
Platonic_: bets £0.40
msoza96: raises to £1.20
Platonic_: raises to £31.78 and is all-in
msoza96: is all-in £26.63
Returned uncalled bets £3.95 to Platonic_
----- RIVER ----- [Jc Kh Tc 3h][2s]
----- SHOW DOWN -----

Platonic_: shows [Jd Th] (Two Pairs, Jacks and Tens, King high)

msoza96: shows [Kc 3c] (Two Pairs, Kings and Threes, Jack high)

msoza96 collected £53.26 from Main pot AND IS A FUCKING RETARDED FISH OF THE HIGHEST ORDER

So... I decided to move up for a boom or bust session at a £2/5 heads up table. Now noone can say I aint got balls! So of course I buy in for only £175........ then I get delt 44.........

Seat 1: Platonic_ (£174 in chips)
Seat 2: LucNilis (£504.40 in chips)
Platonic: posts small blind £2
LucNilis: posts big blind £5
----- HOLE CARDS -----
dealt to Platonic_ [4d 4c]
Platonic_: calls £3
LucNilis: raises to £9
Platonic_: raises to £18
----- FLOP ----- [4h 10c 2c]
LucNilis: bets £30
Platonic_: calls £30
----- TURN ----- [4h 10c 2c][4s]
LucNilis: bets £60
Platonic_: raises £120
LucNilis: calls £60

----- RIVER ----- [4h 10c 2c 4s][8c]
LucNilis: checks
Platonic_: checks
----- SHOW DOWN -----
LucNilis: shows [10s 10d] (3 of a kind 10s, Eight High)
Platonic_: shows [4d 4c]] (Four of a kind, Fours, Eight high)
Platonic_ collected £333.5 from Main pot



Friday, 6 June 2008

Downswing... guys. I know you have all taken delight in my recent downswing. I know the only reason for this is because you are jealous of all previous success. So lap it up while you can.

I have news for you all....... I MADE £43.50 AND COUNTING!! :D :D

so to all you cocks who have been trying to tilt me with your retarded comments in the chat box and posting fucking stupid HH's on my blog...................... FUCK YOU. I AM UNTILTABLE AND UNBEATABLE.

Godlin........... thanks for the £32.41................... you joke of a player. I heard you have been accusing me of racism.................... I'm not a racist but do you blame me for getting slightly annoyed at not being able to find a job IN MY OWN COUNTRY!!! Thats all I'm gonna say because I don't wanna cause trouble: I suggest you check out this website:
and before any of you politically correct cunts start: DONT BOTHER I DONT CARE ABOUT YOUR RETARDED OPIONIONS.

TY AND GOODNIGHT..... the undisputed king of small stakes poker....... our king..... your god...... the one and only real PLATONIC_

Wednesday, 4 June 2008

Hello plat fans and disaffected opponents.

Having read some of the comments on this blog it would appear some of you might be mildly miffed with me. Being not only a poker god but also a devout humanitarian and genuinely nice guy, I feel it may be time to apologize for my transgressions.

Firstly I would like to apologize to SaltyAce. In one of my previous posts I stated that “salty is a Stella drinking, banger driving, fat, bald, sexually frustrated numpty with a p!ss head brewer for a misses.”
I believed I had correctly pieced the clues together to form the above profile. Clearly even I am fallible. Thus it is necessary for me to go through the clues again and correct this slanderous accusation I have made.

Ok so here I will go through the clues again and correct my erroneous conclusion.

Clue1: He thinks teenagers are inferior. Indeed teenagers are a threat to his livelihood and must be discredited. They have enough of an advantage when selling there wares as it is. Highlighting their inexperience is the only thing salty has over them.

Clue 2: He uses granddad terms like wet behind the ears. This is clearly an occupational term not a granddad one as first suspected

Clue 3: He claims to be good but I never seen him win. He doesn’t play to win. He plays for the company. He tries to fit in somewhere to make him feel better about what he is. Evidence of this is the way he constantly ships chips then reloads to give the allure he is like the regs and doesn’t generally loose. Where does the vast some of money required to facilitate this come from?

Clue 4: He can play poker at work. Clearly most of his clients have internet connections he is able to use during down time between jobs. Given the class of his clients it is at work that he has acquired a taste for beverages like Rochefort10,Scheider Weisse, and Duvel.

Clue 5: He claims to understand the game but never says anything close to intelligent. Of course he’s not here to play seriously anyway he’s here to make cyber friends. It is also not reasonable to expect intelligent utterances as he is not used to thinking about what to say when moving his lips as he is so used to having a mouthful when doing well at work.

Yes people I think it is patently clear that salty is a mid to upper class Rent Boy (bet he could tall a few tales about Lord Browne). I can’t believe I got salty so wrong the first time. I mean ffs he is not like the other bhatty men in the crypto homo league. Ok so u boys do a bit of uphill gardening, fairplay to ya. Salty is different he is a little b!tch. Obviously he has developed that way I mean you not gona pay for ass fun and be the b!tch yourself are ya. I mean saying people are wet behind the ears, who the fuck would that offend? I have done some research (posed as Shitfields and phoned a gay escort agency FROM A PUBLIC PHOE BOX) and can now explain why this term is one of the most offensive a rent boy can use. When working they are often required to take a bolt shot in the face. Naturally it can go everywhere. The respectable renta-fags shower off. The dirty ones like salty wipe down. Obviously if you don’t get behind the ears you are still wet there and your next client will know you are filth. Hence the term wet behind the ears is a rent boy term that implies poor personal hygiene. I fell I have done a public service by revealing this. Now when salty says it to you will know how to respond.

Now getting back to earlier and that apology for offence I may have caused. FUCK OFF YOU FKIN TWATS. There is more chance of Jesus smoking a bifta while ice skating in hell with the abominable snow man than me apologizing for anything ever.

Loyal fans this is the one and only the king you all love and still the undisputed heavyweight champ of the small stakes poker your man our god the real plat.

Peace out to everyone except clownia, jb, jpg, sh!tfields, junkie, lisaDonk and saltySh!tb0ll0x (you been served boy).

Monday, 2 June 2008

Ha ha ha... Clownia27 gets owned

Ok so maybe not that great a day at the tables but I don't really give a shit because I owned this calling station Clownia27... or should it be Call-ia27????

----- HOLE CARDS -----
dealt to Platonic_ [8d Ad
drunkedsh: folds
Claudia27: raises to £0.80
Platonic_: calls £0.80
tomacdc: folds
Rebelsrog: folds
----- FLOP ----- [8h Kh 8c]
Claudia27: checks
Platonic_: bets £1.20
Claudia27: calls £1.20 -----> she calls me with A high on the flop
----- TURN ----- [8h Kh 8c][As]
Claudia27: checks
Platonic_: bets £3
Claudia27: calls £3 --------> hit the A and calls again! what a fish!
----- RIVER ----- [8h Kh 8c As][Th]
Claudia27: checks
Platonic_: bets £5
Claudia27: calls £5 ---------> and to top it off she calls the river! you see where the name clownia comes from??? wtf wtf wtf does she even beat????
----- SHOW DOWN -----
Platonic_: shows [8d Ad] (A Full House, Eights full of Aces)
Claudia27: mucks hand [Ac 9d]
Platonic_ collected £19.29 from Main pot

Then the very next hand she GOES ON TILT and gives her money away to me - I make a killer read that she is on tilt and call with JJ.

----- HOLE CARDS -----
dealt to Platonic_ [Jd Js]
Claudia27: raises to £9.90 and is all-in
Platonic_: calls £9.90
tomacdc: folds
Rebelsrog: folds
drunkedsh: folds
----- FLOP ----- [8c 8h Jc]
----- TURN ----- [8c 8h Jc][3c]
----- RIVER ----- [8c 8h Jc 3c][Tc]
----- SHOW DOWN -----
Claudia27: shows [Ac 5c] (A Flush, Ace high) ----> LOL A5... FISHIA27
Platonic_: shows [Jd Js] (A Full House, Jacks full of Eights)
Platonic_ collected £19.10 from Main pot

Anyway jpg00... noone cares if I just blew £60 it's only a drop in the ocean of what I will make this month!!

Untill next time. Cyaaa

Sunday, 1 June 2008


Well thats May over... what a month!

Well loyal Platonic Poker fans. What a month we have had! Not only did I have my most successful month of the year but I also started the best and most viewed poker blog of all time. TY all you muppets for reading this even if all you do is try to rip into me. One word : JEALOUS.

So after a solid month of grinding I have news for all you fish. Grinding for 6-8 hrs per day has meant I played for a total of around 180 hours this month.
I don’t mind you mocking my modest earnings but this blog is designed to let everyone KNOW THE TRUTH.

So, this month...


Lets take a look at the year so far...
January = £1388
Febuary = £1445
March = £1502
May = £1520

To be honest I'm sick of all the moronic comments getting left for me. Some UNI DROP OUT even decided to have a go at me! ha ha h a hah ha ha!!! at least i got my degree you fucking mug. WINNERS NEVER QUIT, QUITTERS NEVER WIN. Looks like you are a big massive loser at life as well as probably at poker. You know who you are, fucking MUG. Get a job you stupid fuckwhit you'll need it when the student loan runs out and mummy chucks you out!!! ah ha ha ha ha hah ahahahahaha

untill next time.... this is the undisputed KING of low stakes hold 'em of crypto signing out.