Having read some of the comments on this blog it would appear some of you might be mildly miffed with me. Being not only a poker god but also a devout humanitarian and genuinely nice guy, I feel it may be time to apologize for my transgressions.
Firstly I would like to apologize to SaltyAce. In one of my previous posts I stated that “salty is a Stella drinking, banger driving, fat, bald, sexually frustrated numpty with a p!ss head brewer for a misses.”
I believed I had correctly pieced the clues together to form the above profile. Clearly even I am fallible. Thus it is necessary for me to go through the clues again and correct this slanderous accusation I have made.
Ok so here I will go through the clues again and correct my erroneous conclusion.
Clue1: He thinks teenagers are inferior. Indeed teenagers are a threat to his livelihood and must be discredited. They have enough of an advantage when selling there wares as it is. Highlighting their inexperience is the only thing salty has over them.
Clue 2: He uses granddad terms like wet behind the ears. This is clearly an occupational term not a granddad one as first suspected
Clue 3: He claims to be good but I never seen him win. He doesn’t play to win. He plays for the company. He tries to fit in somewhere to make him feel better about what he is. Evidence of this is the way he constantly ships chips then reloads to give the allure he is like the regs and doesn’t generally loose. Where does the vast some of money required to facilitate this come from?
Clue 4: He can play poker at work. Clearly most of his clients have internet connections he is able to use during down time between jobs. Given the class of his clients it is at work that he has acquired a taste for beverages like Rochefort10,Scheider Weisse, and Duvel.
Clue 5: He claims to understand the game but never says anything close to intelligent. Of course he’s not here to play seriously anyway he’s here to make cyber friends. It is also not reasonable to expect intelligent utterances as he is not used to thinking about what to say when moving his lips as he is so used to having a mouthful when doing well at work.
Yes people I think it is patently clear that salty is a mid to upper class Rent Boy (bet he could tall a few tales about Lord Browne). I can’t believe I got salty so wrong the first time. I mean ffs he is not like the other bhatty men in the crypto homo league. Ok so u boys do a bit of uphill gardening, fairplay to ya. Salty is different he is a little b!tch. Obviously he has developed that way I mean you not gona pay for ass fun and be the b!tch yourself are ya. I mean saying people are wet behind the ears, who the fuck would that offend? I have done some research (posed as Shitfields and phoned a gay escort agency FROM A PUBLIC PHOE BOX) and can now explain why this term is one of the most offensive a rent boy can use. When working they are often required to take a bolt shot in the face. Naturally it can go everywhere. The respectable renta-fags shower off. The dirty ones like salty wipe down. Obviously if you don’t get behind the ears you are still wet there and your next client will know you are filth. Hence the term wet behind the ears is a rent boy term that implies poor personal hygiene. I fell I have done a public service by revealing this. Now when salty says it to you will know how to respond.
Now getting back to earlier and that apology for offence I may have caused. FUCK OFF YOU FKIN TWATS. There is more chance of Jesus smoking a bifta while ice skating in hell with the abominable snow man than me apologizing for anything ever.
Loyal fans this is the one and only the king you all love and still the undisputed heavyweight champ of the small stakes poker your man our god the real plat.
Peace out to everyone except clownia, jb, jpg, sh!tfields, junkie, lisaDonk and saltySh!tb0ll0x (you been served boy).