Wednesday, 4 June 2008

Hello plat fans and disaffected opponents.

Having read some of the comments on this blog it would appear some of you might be mildly miffed with me. Being not only a poker god but also a devout humanitarian and genuinely nice guy, I feel it may be time to apologize for my transgressions.

Firstly I would like to apologize to SaltyAce. In one of my previous posts I stated that “salty is a Stella drinking, banger driving, fat, bald, sexually frustrated numpty with a p!ss head brewer for a misses.”
I believed I had correctly pieced the clues together to form the above profile. Clearly even I am fallible. Thus it is necessary for me to go through the clues again and correct this slanderous accusation I have made.

Ok so here I will go through the clues again and correct my erroneous conclusion.

Clue1: He thinks teenagers are inferior. Indeed teenagers are a threat to his livelihood and must be discredited. They have enough of an advantage when selling there wares as it is. Highlighting their inexperience is the only thing salty has over them.

Clue 2: He uses granddad terms like wet behind the ears. This is clearly an occupational term not a granddad one as first suspected

Clue 3: He claims to be good but I never seen him win. He doesn’t play to win. He plays for the company. He tries to fit in somewhere to make him feel better about what he is. Evidence of this is the way he constantly ships chips then reloads to give the allure he is like the regs and doesn’t generally loose. Where does the vast some of money required to facilitate this come from?

Clue 4: He can play poker at work. Clearly most of his clients have internet connections he is able to use during down time between jobs. Given the class of his clients it is at work that he has acquired a taste for beverages like Rochefort10,Scheider Weisse, and Duvel.

Clue 5: He claims to understand the game but never says anything close to intelligent. Of course he’s not here to play seriously anyway he’s here to make cyber friends. It is also not reasonable to expect intelligent utterances as he is not used to thinking about what to say when moving his lips as he is so used to having a mouthful when doing well at work.

Yes people I think it is patently clear that salty is a mid to upper class Rent Boy (bet he could tall a few tales about Lord Browne). I can’t believe I got salty so wrong the first time. I mean ffs he is not like the other bhatty men in the crypto homo league. Ok so u boys do a bit of uphill gardening, fairplay to ya. Salty is different he is a little b!tch. Obviously he has developed that way I mean you not gona pay for ass fun and be the b!tch yourself are ya. I mean saying people are wet behind the ears, who the fuck would that offend? I have done some research (posed as Shitfields and phoned a gay escort agency FROM A PUBLIC PHOE BOX) and can now explain why this term is one of the most offensive a rent boy can use. When working they are often required to take a bolt shot in the face. Naturally it can go everywhere. The respectable renta-fags shower off. The dirty ones like salty wipe down. Obviously if you don’t get behind the ears you are still wet there and your next client will know you are filth. Hence the term wet behind the ears is a rent boy term that implies poor personal hygiene. I fell I have done a public service by revealing this. Now when salty says it to you will know how to respond.

Now getting back to earlier and that apology for offence I may have caused. FUCK OFF YOU FKIN TWATS. There is more chance of Jesus smoking a bifta while ice skating in hell with the abominable snow man than me apologizing for anything ever.

Loyal fans this is the one and only the king you all love and still the undisputed heavyweight champ of the small stakes poker your man our god the real plat.

Peace out to everyone except clownia, jb, jpg, sh!tfields, junkie, lisaDonk and saltySh!tb0ll0x (you been served boy).


UpUrBumChum said...

Its good to see salty didnt get under your skin ha ha ha.

You fucking mug, you're the one who has been served you cock muncher.

At least in april you made enough for some hand action at your local gay bar!

When do the classes start? Id pay good money to see you explain how to play poker ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Claudia27 said...

Hahaha I'm liking this one Plato, a lot of thought and effort obv went into it.

Borejaws said...

Get of your knees Claudia27, everyone knows your the worst i wanna be a pro poker player wanker on the site. BTW are you and Plato secret gay lovers?

None of you can grind like me.

Borejaws is the real hero at cryptologic.

claudia27 said...

"wanna be a pro poker player"

wtf gave you that idea you nit?

Boerjaws said...

Ive saw your bullshit chat over the previous weeks on the tables, Yes i do watch tables even if im not playing. The crap i see you guys type is so funny, and keep posting on the other poker forums you unskilled piece of dog poo.
Stick to colluding with your crypto reg mates! The truth will come out eventually!


Anonymous said...

and yet another month begins where Plato fails to stick to his threat/promise to move up in stakes.

what happened to "ive tested the water down there on 25/50p and £200 a day is piece of piss,i'll be there next month",that was months ago

can u please stick to this promise as everyone else is plannin to follow you


junkie said...

you cant touch me tho.

im your twin sister! all will be revealed soon rent a mug.

houchen1 said...

claudia my love

the party is over why dont you go home?



Anonymous said...

im gay,

we dont claim to be perfect but we`re free! said...

ok plutonic i may have went off the rails but i still have my degree in human psychology. its obvious to me you had a tough upbringing with no love shown to you. i can tell that your a submissive little bloke and would secretly love to be a rent boy.

i can also see your insanely jealous of salty as he his much more wittier than you.

saltyarse said...

call me!!!!!

every holes a goal!!!

ok ty

salty xx

junkie said...

on yonder hill there stood a dookit

its no there noo cos platonic_ took it!!!

well he says he bought it with winnings

__sp__ said...

looking for love?

look at £20nl

im gay

Lowfields said...

whats your number saltyarse?

Bubblibub said...

Platonic we all know you like rent boys, your constant mutterings on the subject make it obvious.

Open the closet door and set yourself free from Mother and her demanding and overbearing views on homosexuality.

You will always be mummies little soldier boy.

Anonymous said...

im gay,

Anonymous said...

Dealer: Game #7327266964, Platonic_ wins pot (£0.76) with Three of a kind, Eights, Ten high
Railings1: LOL

checked all 3 streets

Anonymous said...

Railings1: lol
Railings1: youre a weak player platonic
Railings1: you play much?
Platonic_: oh sorry boss
Mayhews: haha
Railings1: im not your boss, but i do own you here plato boy!
Platonic_: my ass you are a tw@t

Anonymous said...

__jenny__: Platonic_: eat my sh1t and die

Anonymous said...

everytime i randonly looked at tables tonight king plat was gettin "stacked"(in platonic world obviously stacked means anythin between a third and three quarters of a buy in)

how much u lose king plat?

platonic stacked 3 times said...

Platonic_: raises to £0.60
Dunc14112: calls £0.60
Dyd1690: calls £0.60
Loulou90: folds
__jenny__: folds
----- FLOP ----- [9h Td Qs]
Platonic_: bets £1.80
Dunc14112: folds
Dyd1690: raises to £3.60
Platonic_: raises to £9.96 and is all-in
Dyd1690: calls £6.36
----- TURN ----- [9h Td Qs][Qc]
----- RIVER ----- [9h Td Qs Qc][6h]
----- SHOW DOWN -----
Platonic_: shows [Kh Qh] (Three of a kind, Queens, King high)
Dyd1690: shows [Js Kc] (A Straight, King high)
Dyd1690 collected £20.92 from Main pot
----- SUMMARY -----
Total pot £22.02 Main pot £20.92 Rake £1.10
Board [9h Td Qs Qc 6h]
Seat 1: __jenny__ (big blind) folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 2: __sp__ folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 3: Platonic_ showed [Kh Qh] and lost with Three of a kind, Queens, King high
Seat 4: Dunc14112 folded on the Flop
Seat 5: Dyd1690 (button) showed [Js Kc] and won (£20.92) with A Straight, King high
Seat 6: Loulou90 (small blind) folded before Flop (didn't bet)
bearded fool how could you not see str8?

Clauida27 said...

10 buy ins for the Claudmiester tonight you fucking fish!!!

plutonic said...

Dealer: Game #7331699904, Platonic_ wins main pot (£0.25) with A Full House, Nines full of Queens

aggression rules

Anonymous said...

__sp__: lol
__sp__: not hard to trap u
__sp__: why have u gone down hill so much m8?
__sp__: u only used to be sh it
Platonic_: yeah you traped me good and proper wd
Platonic_: m8?
__sp__: U WERE BAD

reg vardy said...

platonic is a qualified mechanic!

he told me.

777 stacks kkplatonic said...


platonic knows all about vaccums

after all plat you live in 1 with 2 wheels

Anonymous said...

rumour has it u have moved down to 5p 10p Platonic?That true?

Anonymous said...

nah its on bricks now.he sold the wheels for todays buy ins (£2.40 each shortstacked)on 3p/6p NL.

Anonymous said...

Im beginnin to wonder if im still the biggest wanker on this site now ive seen this idiots blog,

Anonymous said...

its platonic for sure,

Anonymous said...

You are are insane Platonic_,

Paul Gascoigne x

Anonymous said...

You are are insane Platonic_,

Paul Gascoigne 2

__sp__ said...

You have been taken to value town mr Platonic! Classes? dont make me fucking laugh you useless turd punching piece of dog shit!
You couldnt teach a dog to give you its paw never mind teach people how to fucking play poker!
Stick to being a complete tosser at the tables, and stick your rakeback up your glory hole!

Anonymous said...

Game #7338854644: Hold'em NL (£0.10/£0.20) - 2008/06/05 - 21:09:03 (UK)
Table "Mikunoz" Seat 4 is the button.
Seat 1: bearola (£18.09 in chips)
Seat 2: Jenka (£20.12 in chips)
Seat 3: Bigball21 (£32.93 in chips)
Seat 4: kirov (£23.76 in chips)
Seat 5: Platonic_ (£11.95 in chips)
Seat 6: Dary21052 (£57.94 in chips)
Platonic_: posts small blind £0.10
Dary21052: posts big blind £0.20
----- HOLE CARDS -----
dealt to Jenka [Jc Ah]
bearola: folds
Jenka: raises to £0.80
Bigball21: folds
kirov: folds
Platonic_: calls £0.70
Dary21052: calls £0.60
----- FLOP ----- [Js As Kd]
Platonic_: checks
Dary21052: checks
Jenka: bets £2
Platonic_: raises to £4
Dary21052: calls £4
Jenka: calls £2
----- TURN ----- [Js As Kd][Qd]
Platonic_: checks
Dary21052: checks
Jenka: checks
----- RIVER ----- [Js As Kd Qd][Td]
Platonic_: checks
Dary21052: bets £6
Jenka: calls £6
Platonic_: calls £6
----- SHOW DOWN -----
Dary21052: shows [8s 9s] (A Straight, Ace high)
Jenka: shows [Jc Ah] (A Straight, Ace high)
Platonic_: shows [Kc Kh] (A Straight, Ace high)
Platonic_ collected £10.26 from Main pot
Dary21052 collected £10.26 from Main pot
Jenka collected £10.26 from Main pot
----- SUMMARY -----
Total pot £32.40 Main pot £30.78 Rake £1.62
Board [Js As Kd Qd Td]
Seat 1: bearola folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 2: Jenka showed [Jc Ah] and won (£10.26) with A Straight, Ace high
Seat 3: Bigball21 folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 4: kirov (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 5: Platonic_ (small blind) showed [Kc Kh] and won (£10.26) with A Straight, Ace high
Seat 6: Dary21052 (big blind) showed [8s 9s] and won (£10.26) with A Straight, Ace high

Anonymous said...


Well played plato!

that kind of play is expected from you though so doesnt suprise me,your a joke.


CollusionKing said...

Just a reminder that the collusion operation to relieve Plat of his BR will be starting today

Anonymous said...

Two Pairs, Sevens and Fives, Ace high
Tamasaa: ******g hell i cant buy a ******g hand
Tamasaa: lose to ace rags all ******g day
Jenka: post it all on plats site
Dealer: Game #7341922974, Jenka wins pot (£1.71)
Jenka: he will let u know where your goin wrong
Jenka: hes an expert
Liv4acm3: lol
Jenka: just posted a hand myself

Anonymous said...

platonic: jenny why do you hate me?

platonic: i dont know what i did to you.

claudia27 said...

because you talk a load of shit and abuse everyone that outsmarts you, you lump of wood!

jenny said...

hey platonic will you marry me?

Anonymous said...

hi guys!!

im gay!!!!!!!

platonic1 (new username)

Anonymous said...

Game #7341878144: Hold'em NL (£0.10/£0.20) - 2008/06/05 - 23:58:53 (UK)
Table "Houssituff" Seat 2 is the button.
Seat 1: Jenka (£18.24 in chips)
Seat 2: platonic1 (£19.85 in chips)
Seat 3: msoza96 (£24.92 in chips)
Seat 4: Platonic_ (£14.95 in chips)
Seat 5: drago (£21.07 in chips)
Seat 6: Justin033 (£49.31 in chips)
msoza96: posts small blind £0.10
Platonic_: posts big blind £0.20
----- HOLE CARDS -----
dealt to Jenka [Qd 4c]
drago: folds
Justin033: folds
Jenka: folds
platonic1: folds
msoza96: calls £0.10
Platonic_: raises to £0.60
msoza96: calls £0.40
----- FLOP ----- [Kd 8h 8d]
msoza96: checks
Platonic_: bets £1
msoza96: raises to £2.80
Platonic_: raises to £14.35 and is all-in
msoza96: calls £11.55
----- TURN ----- [Kd 8h 8d][Ac]
----- RIVER ----- [Kd 8h 8d Ac][Ad]
----- SHOW DOWN -----
Platonic_: shows [Ks Qc] (Two Pairs, Aces and Kings, Queen high)
msoza96: shows [7d 8c] (A Full House, Eights full of Aces)
msoza96 collected £28.41 from Main pot
----- SUMMARY -----
Total pot £29.90 Main pot £28.41 Rake £1.49
Board [Kd 8h 8d Ac Ad]
Seat 1: Jenka folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 2: platonic1 (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 3: msoza96 (small blind) showed [7d 8c] and won (£28.41) with A Full House, Eights full of Aces
Seat 4: Platonic_ (big blind) showed [Ks Qc] and lost with Two Pairs, Aces and Kings, Queen high
Seat 5: drago folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 6: Justin033 folded before Flop (didn't bet)
****HAND ENDS****

Anonymous said...

Game #7340970974: Hold'em NL (£0.10/£0.20) - 2008/06/05 - 23:16:15 (UK)
Table "Houssituff" Seat 5 is the button.
Seat 1: Jenka (£24.90 in chips)
Seat 2: Rodeboy (£5.81 in chips)
Seat 3: msoza96 (£24.22 in chips)
Seat 4: Platonic_ (£27.67 in chips)
Seat 5: miky55 (£29.45 in chips)
Seat 6: Justin033 (£21.99 in chips)
Justin033: posts small blind £0.10
Jenka: posts big blind £0.20
----- HOLE CARDS -----
dealt to Jenka [Ks 6c]
Rodeboy: raises to £0.80
msoza96: folds
Platonic_: raises to £1.60
miky55: folds
Justin033: calls £1.50
Jenka: folds
Rodeboy: calls £0.80
----- FLOP ----- [Ad Ah 8h]
Justin033: checks
Rodeboy: checks
Platonic_: bets £3
Justin033: calls £3
Rodeboy: folds
----- TURN ----- [Ad Ah 8h][5d]
Justin033: bets £3.20
Platonic_: calls £3.20
----- RIVER ----- [Ad Ah 8h 5d][9s]
Justin033: bets £14.19 and is all-in
Platonic_: calls £14.19
----- SHOW DOWN -----
Justin033: shows [Ac Jc] (Three of a kind, Aces, Jack high)
Platonic_: shows [Qd Qh] (Two Pairs, Aces and Queens, Nine high)
Justin033 collected £43.50 from Main pot
----- SUMMARY -----
Total pot £45.78 Main pot £43.50 Rake £2.28
Board [Ad Ah 8h 5d 9s]
Seat 1: Jenka (big blind) folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 2: Rodeboy folded on the Flop
Seat 3: msoza96 folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 4: Platonic_ showed [Qd Qh] and lost with Two Pairs, Aces and Queens, Nine high
Seat 5: miky55 (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 6: Justin033 (small blind) showed [Ac Jc] and won (£43.50) with Three of a kind, Aces, Jack high
****HAND ENDS****

gyposdog said...

what a complete fkn tossa u are tough as fuck on ya gay little blog page abuseing everyone, its mugs like you that i cant stand ya ginger little prick hope ya fucking die a slow and painful death.

CollusionKing said...

More collusion tonight will be in operation to further lighten his bankroll

saltyace said...

its all going to plan guys the great one is tilting bluffing and more importantly losing


salty xx

truthJustice said...

Only fuckers colluding on crypto are Claudia27 and his/her fucking friend. If none of you can work out who that is then you're all fucking dullard cuew others cunts. Few others colluding but i will keep their names to myself for now. Cheating scumbags.

The truth will out.

15ti00 said...

is it me 15ti00?

i dont care if im a cheat you are all fish

Jpg001 said...

Rumours surfacing that Platonic is a cheat, he told us at start of blog he was crushing on crytpo. I think he is cheating to opposite effect, he cheats so well he is losing this month. I guess he lied when he said he crushed crypto, 250 quid before rack on cryptofishstars isnt crushing infact its downright bloomin disgraceful for the amount of table hours he puts in.

Anonymous said...

im gay

when my parents first found out they were disgusted,then in time they accepted it and then eventually became so supportive they are now gay themseleves,

Anonymous said...

i now play 3p/6p,too many poofs at platonics tables


PS im not gay

Ben100410 said...

Im biggest nit on crypto, but do you dumb people see it? Im like SP i dont get my oney in light, im a uni guy i dont have money to throw about like platonic. I should use my writing skills to better myself but ive decided to waste my uni course on poker. Low stakes grinding with the platonics and SP's of this world who grind grind grind all day long for small returns.

GL and dont call me when iget it in middle, im a nit!

__sp__ said...

in light ben dover?

my fav hand is j8os gayboy!

Jpg001 said...

Ben100410 you arent a nit, this all bullshit. what is a nit? but i know you arent one. houchen owns souls on poker tables. platonic owns a crap caravan. jenny owns nice knickers. sp owns gay videos. borejaws owns a rather interesting book about accountancy. jenka well jenka is a student of life. cpcfan eats.... claudia27 owns gay porn he got on holiday.

Jpg001 i own you guys, own i say own.

j said...

i own my house!

claudia27 said...

Any suspected colluding should be reported to crypto. Slander like this shall not be tolerated! Like Id need to collude against you fish! Platonic has gone quiet, prob something to do with the 40 'buy-ins' hes lost this week.

CollusionKing said...

Why would I report it when I am a colluder myself?