Xmas and New Caravan

Hey guys hows everyone doing?

JPG still trying to get rid of that rash on yer arse from that ladyboy in Thailand?

Gay Billingham still broke and in the closet?

Rakeback Goth still a freakshow and breakeven player?

CUTE FISH still getting owned by Loser18 hu?

2 buy in's still a fucking degen MUG??????

Razor666 still a nit with no sense of humour?

Houchen1 still crushing £20nl on william hills?

Balmore still a haggis eating cocky little fuck face?

GULKINES still crushing high stakes.... OH NO YOU COULDN'T BEAT THE YANKS AND LOST ALL YOUR BANKROLL. HA HA HA.



Anyway guys its christmas which is usualy a time of year that i despise. This year however is different as i've been given possibly the BEST christmas present ever. My gan and grandad have recently come into a lot of money and they have decided to share the wealth and have bought me a brand new caravan for christmas! SO SICK!

It's about 100000000 times better than the one i'm living in at the moment, i've placed an advert in the paper trying to sell it but dont think i will get anything for it. My grandparents said they were sick of the site of my current caravan at the bottom of their garden. Plus it was costing them too much to heat.

My new one is gonna be fucking amazing, was up picking it yesterday. Forgot to take photos to post but here is a pic of the same model.



As you can see it's got a BALCONY! OMG it's gonna be so sick just sitting up there in the summer with a Duvel and perhaps a lady accompanying me. CANT FUCKING WAIT.

In return I'm hoping to get my grandparents are really good gift back, anyone got any ideas?

Cheers guys,

Poker been going really good as well guys btw will post my end of year graph at the end of the year. i think some of you will be surprised as i have gotten a LOT better and ive made a lot of money this year.

The REAL PLAT

Owned a familiar face

For those of you who don't know 42carrotdonker was Razor666, one of the best regs from crypto who used to crush all the way upto £2/5, owning souls and winning rake races.
This hand happened today when I was playing some £1/2 trying to win back some losses from 10p/20p.

I KNOW SOME OF YOU WILL THINK I MADE THIS UP BUT I SWEAR ON MY DOGS LIFE I DIDN'T.




Yeah I know this spot is kind of a cooler and fair enough he might not put me on the straight flush but I still think his play is dodgy.

SICK thing is there was no bad beat jackpot. If there was one like on interpoker (join the gay/bi team, see JPJ00 for details) Razor666 would have won at least £200,000 it's so fucking sick.

CRAZY OWNAGE

Hi guys just wanted to show you a few hands from today when I owned some regs. People have been slating my game recently and I feel i need to prove myself.

Here I keep min raising and eventually he spews off his whole stack with just A high card. LOLOLOLOL he called me a fish after as well which is the funniest part LMAO

Table info:

Seat 1: BubbaWashington ($21.20)
Seat 3: TheRealKingPlat%20')">TheRealKingPlat ($53.15)

Dealer

Seat 5: agent909 ($15.51)

Posts small blind $0.10

Seat 6: brothermouzone ($20)

Posts big blind $0.20

Seat 8: 42Carrotplonker ($20.15)

Dealt to TheRealKingPlat

Preflop: (Pot: $0.30)

RAISE BubbaWashington, to $.70
CALL TheRealKingPlat, $.70
FOLD agent909
FOLD brothermouzone
FOLD 42Carrotplonker

Flop: (Pot: $1.70)

BET BubbaWashington, $12
RAISE TheRealKingPlat, to $3.20
RAISE BubbaWashington, to $5.80
RAISE TheRealKingPlat, to $7.60
RAISE BubbaWashington, to $7.60
RAISE TheRealKingPlat, to $42.15
CALL BubbaWashington, $6.62

Turn: (Pot: $58.07)

River: (Pot: $58.07)

Showdown:

SHOWS BubbaWashington

SHOWS TheRealKingPlat

TheRealKingPlat wins the pot of $75.43

just gonna post one hand just now cos i got some shit to take care of, im thinking of starting up coaching again if anyone is interested?? gimmie a shout anyways laters

Plat strikes back!

Hi guys just a quick post to tell you all about how much money i have won and how fucking bad you all are. So the real king plat made his return to william hills 2 weeks ago with the money that he had been saving up from the council job (not picking up dog shit). deposited £200 and have turned that into well over £900 (including rackback).

That just shows you how pathetic you all are, you come on here and try to have a pop at the king... well i just gotta say.... if you come at the king, you best not miss.

check this shit out!




if i keep this up i think i might get my own place and move out from my parents house, does anyone know any lawyers or people who offer mortgages to poker playrs??

i see a lot of fish these days playin in a rediculas fashion tryin to stack the world famus Platonic. just a message to you fish cunts - you dont scare me fucking bring it on i'll bluff you on the river every day of the week cos you aint got the stones to call you bitches.

fuck the lot of you i dont even like my own blog any more

My new setup

Hi guys not posted in a while, just been too busy owning people on William Hiils, been playing some other sites as well. Made a fucking lot of money.
anyway onto my poker set up...

I have two custom built poker monitors. As soon as action is needed on a table, the table pops up and my monitor is touch sensitive. All I have to do is touch the screen in the appropriate location and I will call/fold/raise. I wear a headset and my voice recognition software can also recognize my voice in order to perform the appropriate action and bet amounts.

A background custom built program continuously runs scans of tables and adds me to waitlists automatically once a table meets predefined criteria. This program will also automatically sit me out of tables once the predefined is no longer met. Sometimes with the screen touch method, my eyes start to hurt from looking at the screen, so I use other software to play with only a keyboard or controller

I find that controllers are much easier to use than joysticks. I also have a third monitor that's not custom made, but it serves a large purpose. Whenever I voluntarily put $ in to the pot in any hand, my software will recognize that and mirror that table onto this third monitor which is mounted on the wall directly above the other two monitors. That way, I can see all of my important hands on that screen while folding my other hands. Once the hand is over, my software will recognize that and remove it from that monitor.

Hope everything is clear.

Holidays

Hi guys not updated my blog in a while, to be honest i've been busy and shit. At the moment as i write this im on holiday in tenarife. its been pretty good so far and ive made lots of friends and also had a bit of sexual action although i did have to use your fishes money to pay for it. she was a dirty nigger and to be honest i feel a bit guilty for it. i used a connie huck so hopefully i will be fine.....

i bought some hachish from a lovely young fella so basically just been smoking that and i have to say its the best shit ive ever smoked. i love this place i might take my carava over and live here it's so sick.

i got off my tits last night watching the chealsa game and ive not been to sleep since.

basically im having a great time over here whilst all of you cunts are wanking yourself off over amatays blog and to be honest im sick of writing this shite so im gonna stop now.

when i get back im gonna fucking crush and im thinking of moving up to £2/4 i'll make a shite load.

this is the one and only real plat coming at ya from spain.

peace out.

OPEN LETTER TO RAKETHERAKE

Hi RakeTheRake,
My name is Platonic_ from www.platonicpoker.blogspot.com , im sure you've heard of me,im a well established and respected regular on the Crypto network at 10p/20p NL.My blogs readership is huge and its linked to many of the bigger players blogs,its a sign that they see an up and coming pro in the making.You will see plenty of jeolous comments on my blog,i recieve lots of abuse,but this is blatantly down to jeolousy of my ability. Anyway,ive been offered several deals of sponsorship,which i havent accepted as yet as many have come from firms i disrespect and from various gruffnuts i wont deal with.Ive selected a shortlist of sponsors i will deal with and am pleased to say you are one of them,the fact that you are scousers based in Liverpool isnt a problem with me or my family. So,£10k a year and ill plaster your logo all over my site? Are u interested?Im givin u 1st choice but be quick cos theres plenty of others waitin,
Regards,Platonic_

Running bad but still crushing

This one is for the short stacked wanker. Kiss my arse you fucking moron nit cunt.

EVEN WITH THE POKER GODS AGAINST ME I HAVE GOT BACK TO MY OLD WAYS OF OWNING EVERYONE IN SIGHT.

BIG UP THE PLAT MASSIVE.

St. Georges Day Song

O'er grassy dale, and lowland scene
Come see, come hear, the English Scheme.
The lower-class, want brass, bad chests, scrounge fags.
The clever ones tend to emigrate
Like your psychotic big brother, who left home
For jobs in Holland, Munich, Rome
He's thick but he struck it rich, switch
The commune crap, camp bop, middle-class, flip-flop
Guess that's why they end up in bands
He's the green piece in us all
He's the creep-creep in us all
Condescends to black men
Very nice to them
They talk of Chile while driving through Haslingdon
You got sixty hour weeks, and stone stone toilet back-gardens
Peter Cook's jokes, bad dope, check shirts, lousy groups
Point their fingers at America
Down pokey quaint streets in Cambridge
Cycles our distant spastic heritage
Its a gay red, roundhead, army career, grim head
If we was smart we'd emigrate

Platonic vs Kollega HU Grudge Match

After sucessfully showing up "JPG00" in my last heads up grudge match I have decided to turn my attention towards the Bulgarian NIT known as "Kollega". This dude had a 9% hand rate and THOUGHT HE WAS IT.

He came on my blog BOASTING that he was now playing 12% of hands. WTF is that??? It's only cos he's now playing 5 handed on the rigged BOSS network.

So I tracked him down and used a language convertor to call him a few names. безобразен гнида, ти майка блудница!!! Hahahaha!!!!

He broke his 4 year silence to call me a "bald talentless twat". It was then I saw RED. I got more talent in my nob than that frankenstein fuckwhit, so I asked him for a heads up grudge match. He has agreed but so far we haven't arranged the details.

I think it will be similar to the durrr vs Patrik Antonius match..... we will play 50,000 hands over 4 tables at a time.... only we will be playing $0.10/0.20 tables. If anyone wants updates I will be posting all the big hands on my blog and I can phone you up personally if you want to know when we are about to play if you want to watch us go at it.

Ok ty.

This is the Plato one signing out.

Short Stacked Scum

This utter twat who is too scared to buy in for the full amount has been making fun of the Plat. It's the height of rudness to laugh at other people's misfortune but this guy seems to do it on a daily basis.

Here's what happened last night when Plat's mate confrunted the short-stacked cunt:



I urge all loyal Plat fans to go over to this funnys blog and give him some abuse that he deserves.
http://smallstakeshero.blogspot.com/ IF YOUR READING THIS YOU RED HEAD FREAK FUCK OFF.

Fucking iPoker

Hi guys, thanks for nothing - noone offered me anything after my plea for a stake. Thanks everyone all I was asking for was £200-300. I had to sell a few of my things to get a roll together and quite frankly I wish I hadn't bothered. I got about £1000 together and put £800 of that into William Hills. I bought "Holdem Manager" - which so far has been a fucking waste of cash.

After 5 or 6 days I've LOST a lot of that and I'm down to my last £150. I've still got £200 in the bank as well and my bills aren't due till the end of the month. I dunno wtf I'm gonna do those cos the players on iPoker are so fuckin bad that I dunno if I will ever be able to win there.

Also THEY KEEP FUCKIN SUCKING OUT ITS A FUCKING JOKE, IVE BEEN PLAYIN 12 HOURS A DAY FOR NEARLY A WEEK AND FK ALL TO SHOW FOR IT APART FROM HUGE LOSSES.

THIS IS ALL AT $20 TABLES MOSTLY,, I USED TO CRUSH STAKES 4 TIMES HIGHER THAN THIS. FUCK THIS SHIT I DUNNO WHAT TO DO

Fish

so i wen4t to casin tonite wenkt to thecasino strsight after the chelsea game todau and was pl,aing my ussal £1/2 game. got FUCKIN RAPED bad bad afeter bad beat. long story shot i lost over 10 buy ins in 45minuite so decide to have a drink tyo try to calm down,,,, pepopoloe at table and up buying me drinks because i wasthinkingofleaving. lolst another 6 buy ins so ive lost the most ever in one day i dunno wtf im gonna do

i came home to try and win it all back online but i got no funds anmd my debit card isnt letting me deposut,,,

i feel online is my game and i have a proven trak recrd of winning online, just dunno if ill have the funds to play with so basically the hole point of this post was to ask anyone out there to lend me perhps £200to400 to get me on my feet, l will play it back ofcourse as quick as i can, when i make just £200 i will pay back the full amount

i know some rich guys sometims read my blog so please give me a chance

ty, im not one to beg but i really need some help right now

Live poker story

Went to play my usual low key 1/1 cash game at the Vic last night, trying to avoid the autograph hunters that read my blog.

Live poker is one of the few places i can still let my hair down so to speak. Anway, I sit down and quickly notice a newbie is giving it the big I am splashing his chips around and giviing the staff grief.

Obviously this is nothing new and I think little of it other than to try and stamp my authority on the table with some loose play and a few verbals and banter

Matey boy shows his true colours when not tipping the waitress as she gave him a dirty look when he grabbed her buttocks. She's a good mate of mine so I told him he was bang out order. From another table his mate , a guy who was twice as fat as me, starting to goad me, I want to be your friend PLATONIC etc.
He too, ordered a pint and the waitress's boyfriend made sure his pint had a good "head", lol.

Anyway, bingo bago bongo tight wadd gruffnut is all in and I look down at aces. I slowroll him as Im fuming by now before making the call.

He is so excited he flips up his kings like the newbie he is. I keep my cards covered knowing I just have to dodge a king or diamond on the river to scoop.
The river is a blank but I remember a tip my actor mate, Bepe gave me and told him his hand was good and to pay him up. His face lit , and using all my acting skill i told him I was lying a pulled the monster stack my way showing my bullets.

His gargantuan friend from the other table went bezerk and came waddling over, but his headphones wires caught on his chair in a comedy monment as he still had an old stylee personal cd player (with, would you believe Banarama on it). It was classic stuff, we had such a laugh ripping him to shreds, Banafingrama i ask you!
Moral: TIP THE WAITRESS GRUFFNUT!

Update

Hi guys sorry not updated in a while. I've had some problems with Hills and have had my account locked for nearly a month now so haven't yet played on iPoker. I'm pleased to tell you I have had some great sucess playing live. I've been playing the £1/£1 game at the Vic and over the past month I've won around £15,000. These guys there are such fish.

I've got an amusing story from last night that I will post in a bit, I'm off to the pub for a bit.

SOLIED UNDERWEAR

Gruffnuts,

To cater to popular demand(im regular bein asked at tables),i have agreed to sell my soiled underwear,rangin from naturally aged to freshly soiled(state your preference when ordering)

Fuck the lot of ya,

Plat

Gruffnuts

Thanks for your comments i love you all.

Ive been having a bad run lately due to arse munching fucking faggots like $bankjob$ who always lands a river and totaly fucks me and my never ending roll. So im piping down and getting ready for the big 1 which i feel is just round the corner.

Fuck balmore and look out Gulkiness u tilted spunk breathing orval drinking batty boy.

peace out, Platonic_

I'LL BE BACK

Gruffnuts,

Im shaggin em faster than u can drag em from underneath me at the moment,so only a short post this time.

Ok,so ive had a fall,it happens,ill bounce back in no time at all,any gruffnut who thinks ive lost my skills,just come play me and ill show u who the gruffnut is.

One other thing,ive been asked a few times lately,why do i have such a huge followin from the homosexual/bisexual poker community,well to be honest,i really dont know.I'm actually straight but have occasionally done man on man experimental stuff,but i havent disclosed these activities before.

Anyway:

Fuck off the lot of you,

Platonic_

KOLLEGA BREAKS HIS 3 YEAR SILENCE

Gruffnuts,

I've been watchin the higher stakes games a bit lately to prepare me for them(i'll be there by summer),and 2 nights ago,got shock of my life,KOLLEGA sits down at Balmores £500 nl table,sits out for a bit,then leaves.Very suprising.

Anyway,then last night he joins a 6max £500 nl table,and verbally attacks Balmore saying "stop telling everyone how i play" "ok?" "ok?",after several "lol" from Balmore who i got the impression was fallin outa his seat laughin,he states "ive said what i came to say"and left.He also said "i bet u never thought i had £500 in my account did u?"prior to that,which made about as much sense as his 1-dimensional nitty poker play.

KOLLEGA,heres a fact: EVERYONE KNOW HOW YOU PLAY,its legendary,you stand out a mile.You play all pairs and AK and thats it! 9% of hands which i think is the lowest VPIP % on Crypto,and u think people dont notice? IDIOT!

Anyway,back to the important stuff,im winnin like fuck as usual,and Gulkines seems to not be around lately soon as he heard i raised the funs to play him.

Ok,a quick shag then back on the tables,

Fuck u all,
Plat

Should i play Gulkines?

Gruffnuts,

So far this year ive won £8.2k(plus rakeback)with a winrate of 16.78bb/100,def movin up next month.Im actually tempted to just jump straight in at the deep end and play Gulkines on 100/200,i know i have the beating of him,but in the event i get unlucky to,i would be broke and building again from 1p/2p with the likes of 1out1der.An idea i have,is maybe a few of my fans or shrewd investors see an oppurtunity here to get rich,and maybe someone,or a group,could stake me?Or stake me for 50%?

Ok back to my other business, need to get a bath,Miss.Sweden comin round for a mid day shag,even though im still fucked from the bird that just left,just hope can get it finished before my Mum gets back home,else shes in for a suprise,

Over and out,

Your hero and king of the gruffnuts,
Plat

MOVING UP NEXT MONTH

Gruffnuts,

I'm shaggin much more these days,so havent got too much time for new posts,im still crucifying the games though ,and will be moving up to 50p/£1 in February.

Found the Nigerian girl before she left,no chance of my cash back but i gave her a few slaps and took her jewelry,and yes that Swede was 18,i was out by 1 year?Does that make it a lie?I'm shaggin her tonight actually.

Other than that,not much too add,had an eventful day fightin up in Manchester for the Chelsea game with United,i challenged a few Man Utd gruffnuts from the poker site to come and mouth off to me in person like they do at the tables,and not one had the balls to turn up,wankers!

Platonic

tinyjoyce spotted at $500nl

Taking a big pot off that moron "bluecheek".

£20nl REPRESENT.

Soft Verges

So I’m walking down the road
And heading towards me
Is somebody I know
But not like a brother
He’s seen me, and we both realise
That we’re going to have to put into operation
The tricky manoeuvre that is
Acknowledgement without breaking stride
So I keep my eyes fixed firmly on the ground
‘Til I get within ten or so feet away
With a nod of the head
And a timely hello
I can carry on walking
Don’t wanna get talking
Rule number one - carry on walking
And anyway I don’t know his name
And if I were to guess
I’d guess it all wrong
And I’d be there for a long time

FUCK OFF JIMMMY01

FFS IM SHAGGIN AWAY THIS AFTERNOON(A NEW STUDENT,STUNNING 17 YR OLD BLONDE FROM SWEDEN AU PAIRING HERE),WHEN I GLANCE AT THE PC AND SEE JIMMMMY01 HAS LOGGED IN.NOW THIS GUY IS SHIT WITH A CAPITAL "S" SO IF HES ON,IM ON.

BASTARD MADE ME BREAK UP MY SHAG,WAS ENJOYIN IT TO

BASTARD

PLATONIC-PEOPLE KEEP COMING TO ME FOR SEX

Hi Gruffnuts,

ok so ive hit a bit of a bad run,only made £2600 so far since xmas day,what can i say?shaggin solid for 8 or 9 hours every nite is beginnin to take its toll.Anyway come sign up for my poker tuition and i could end up shaggin u soon too!!Are u interested Tinyjoyce?

Regards,

Plat

shagging

Gruffnuts,

I might not be playin for a couple of days,i been shaggin all night and im fuckin knackered,

Platonic_